tense

went for a foot massage today. Actually more like a paid torture session. It’d been a while since we’d been and my muscles were so tense and everywhere the therapist touched, it hurt like hell. I was trying to be brave and not whimper or groan, finally settled for squirming about uncomfortably in my seat. My neck and shoulders were not much better, but we didn’t have time so I continue to suffer.

So much tension and pressure. Daily life is a grind. Why do we tolerate this in our lives. So much given up, all in the name of 2 square meals and a roof over our heads. I mentioned to my parents may be I’m thinking about moving, higher floor, bigger place. Tasked them with looking around. If they find something suitable it means going through the whole empty bank account big mortgage deal. I’d just gotten my mortgage down to a reasonable level, taking advantage of the low interest rates to pay off more of the principal each month.

Money. What a dirty word.

I’ve been at her place 3 nights running. It’s nice. But it means Sunday night is even harder to bear. Then again, I still think we still have a long way to go till we can live together again. We have different habits, hobbies and the need for personal time to overcome.

Yesterday she had to wake up early for work and I got up not long after she left. Today we would sleep later and so we didn’t wake up till nearly 11am. It’s so comfortable. She has her aircon on much cooler than mine, so I didn’t get hot and sticky.

Simple meals today. Lunch of noodles and vegetables at a neighbourhood restaurant. For dinner we bought food home and rented a DVD. It’s so much more relaxing and intimate.