croissants straight or curved

Tesco, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that customers prefer straight croissants rather than the traditional crescent shaped ones, so they will going forward only sell straight croissants. This is because of something called the

spreadability factor

which determines how easily it is to spread butter, jam, marmalade or other filling. Apparently straight croissants people can spread using one single motion vs curved croissants which take more.

Sounds completely ridiculous. Why do people want to spread butter or jam on croissants? And even if they do, what’s the big deal about 2 more knife strokes? Anyway, the way to eat croissants is to tear it apart, enjoying the fluffy interior full of holes and soft, buttery bread. They already taste good, there is no need to add filling.

Oh, and apparently Tesco customers find straight croissants more sophisticated. I question who are these Tesco customers. Not this one. I personally think the move is because straight croissants are easier to machine make and package. Some clever PR person came up with the spreadability and sophisticated talking points.


Even the Japanese get croissants right. I saw a packet of croissant-like snacks at the Japanese food store. The croissants inside are tiny and bite-sized. Even opening the packet, I get the smell of croissants–okay, that’s a stretch, it’s more like margarine, crusty bread and sugar. The snacks are butter sugar flavoured, so they are very sweet. Super crispy, light, and crumble easily, just like a real croissant.

I found a review of a version found presumably in the US. The reviewer found that it is a

very “junky” snack which has both qualities of being appealing (crispy, sweet, buttery), but also tastes “cheap” (tasting like cheap bread and margarine/oil)

Found a different flavour on amazon. Wow, $80 for 12. That’s like 3 times the price.

Oh, and like croissants and other French pastries, these snacky things should be eaten either in moderation or after running. One packet is 370 calories.