father’s day

ams182oosttrees

Father’s Day. Mum and I went to church, then quick lunch at a food court. Met with Sis and G to visit Papa. Very hot day, 33ºC and feeling hotter. It was cooler and there was a light breeze up on the hill though. Sis brought a little pot plant.

I thought, with all the ads about father’s day gifts, father’s day food recipes and waking up to a stupid fb gif about father’s day, that I’d suffer from trigger warnings. But I didn’t. I haven’t been feeling much of anything. Not even numbness. I went about my day, cooked dinner, watched tv, read a book. That’s pretty much how most days are.

It doesn’t feel like it hasn’t sunk in. I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop but I feel like my brain has super turbo processed it all and that’s it. Some emotions have gone missing, the world seems even further removed than before. The thing is, I’m not bothered by it. Intellectually I know I’m compartmentalising; all I can muster is a shrug.