These days, I'm learning to offer all my unhappiness and sufferings to the One Above and ask for His comfort. I did that yesterday too, and one of my best friend, CC, called last night! I was thrilled! I've been so unmotivated for the last several months/half year, so much so that there's a lot I wanted to tell her but just couldn't get round to writing emails to her. Then she called! I feel my prayers have been answered; although I also asked for help to be out of here asap, but I feel comforted. Bless her! : )

She's coming back in September, and she has invited me to join their group for skiing in France later this year. I'm tempted. But GBP and Euros are so expensive these days; I've had skiing lessons, but am afraid of heights and could really only stay in Green runs and some low or half-way of Blue runs ...

We are also planning to go to US next year to visit our mutual best friend. Yeah! :D

I forgot to keep a record of last month's deadline, but I feel it's coming in a week or two's time ...

My memory is getting worse these days, probably because I'm getting old. sf called this morning and asked what did I do during the weekend just passed. I had to make an effort to remember it before I could tell him. Oops.

So, last weekend. Well, did nothing and stayed in all day on Saturday. So tired and exhausted, or really, so unmotivated. As sf said this morning, I'm kind of stuck here. The problem is I don't like it here. They pay me ok, but there's not much for me to do and they have not been giving me the credits I deserve. Anyway, enough of moan and groan - what's the point? Things are not gonna change if I continue moaning and groaning. I should focus on the future.

Came across a few in-house positions lately. Although I don't 100% fit the profile they are looking for but I'm tempted to give it a try. I must get my acts together and get it done. I'll try to do my CV tonight. It may need a revamp as they may not want so much details. We'll see.

Sunday was great. Went to have homemade lunch made by bb after Sunday church. Yum yum! bb is such a good chef. I feel a bit guilty though, as she was so hot and wet just because she was making Sunday lunch for us. I enjoyed the 5-star menue immensely, but am a little unhappy as the lunch has made bb tired. She even insisted on cleaning up, whilst I napped on the couch - By now, you must be shouting "What a pig!" I'm so spoiled : P

Have also been thinking about a friend of mine who got married and is staying in Australia. She has liver cancer. I was lazy and haven't emailed her a little while. Then my best friend who also knows this lady in Aussi told me the lady's condition is not looking well. We used to go to the same college and she's just a year ahead of my best friend and I. I emailed her several weeks ago but haven't heard from her ... I'll pray for her.

In fact, several of my friends are not feeling well lately. One is in constant pain in the neck/shoulder area. bb too! I'll remember them all in my prayers.

Haven't received the Holy Communion in the last few weeks, although I went to Sunday mass. Plan to go to do confession after work today. This confession is in fact long overdue ... Hope I can escape then.

It's been very quiet in the office. For me, that happened since around Oct/Nov last year. Recently, no new instructions came through the door at all ! So what do I do during the time in the office? Mainly, surfing on the net and socialising with colleagues. Honestly, I am worried that I'd be made redundant soon. That itself is stress. I don't know what to do if that happens ??! I'm beginning to see how courageous, strong and tough my younger brother has been - he's able to face so much downturns that had happened with his career. I love him and admire him immensely.

I got close to a colleague recently. We both have been looking out for opportunities. I tried a few in the interim. For one I was one of 3 shortlisted for 2nd interview, but had heard nothing since early Jan this year; no, not even a rejection. It's a brand name company, and I later heard from the news that it's income was below expectation. As it's a back office post, the company had probably put the matter on hold.

With this colleague and a friend of mine, we were thinking of a business in cakes and ice-creams, and we had even thought about our target customers and marketing. Last week, a friend from Uni calle. It was a friendly call but later we moved onto discussing forming a playgroup ! We said we'll do some research. I'm keen on the idea of moving away from the industry I'm currently at.

I await however God's plan for me. In my prayers, I ask Him for wisdom as well as love, faith and hope in Him. : )

I actually felt being well taken care of by God today! It's a day full of love.

At around 4pm, I called sf; nothing in particular just seemed that we haven't spoken for some time, so I thought I'll give him a call. He wasn't in his chamber so I left a messgae on his voicemail.

About 15 minutes later, he called my mobile! He said he called me a few times in office but didn't get through. It turned out that he got my direct line number in the office wrong - ai ya! I told him that so many times lah!

Anyway, we met for a hot chocolate at Starbucks nearby. That was around 5pm. We had a good chat - nothing in particular, just lots of B.S. ! :D

Then I got my dental appointment at 6:30pm. I felt pain on the left bottom molar. I thought I had a bad teeth, just a tooth decay. In fact, I felt pain on that tooth some half year ago. Initially, I thought I have sensitive teeth.

I took an X-ray. The dentist confirmed it was tooth decay. But then, because it has decayed quite badly that I might need to do the root canal - Again! I was scared. I wasn't prepared for it. We started with reparing tooth decay procedure, then she told me the decay has gone too deeply that I needed a root canal. And we did that. I was there on time and by the time everything finished, it was around 7:45pm.

Throughout the procedure, I closed my eyes ("no eye see" ?) And I prayed. I kept saying "Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with Thee. ... " I saw Mary Mother looking very softly and gently at me, like my mother, comforting me. There were times when I couldn't quite say that prayer or I lost where I've got to, or it was hard for me to concentrate on my prayer. Half way or three-quarters of the way after the root canal procedure was afoot, I saw St. Teresa. I saw her face when she was a toddler. I asked for her help too. So both Mary Mother and St. Teresa were with me. I was very much comforted.

As I had local anaesthetic, I was then told not to eat anything for the next 2 to 3 hours. I didn't feel hungry. When I walked out of the clinic, I realised it was that hot chocolate! Yes, the hot chocolate helped me to relax for the procedures and filled me for the next 2 hours ! And my meeting with sf was not planned; it was ad hoc. And bb will be able to confirm that sf's style is that : in the morning, he'll say let's meet this afternoon, and afternoon came, there was no call, no show from him ! Weird, right? But that made that hot chocolate so special.

I also had quite a fatty lunch. Both of those prepared me for the evening.

There's no limit to God's wisdom and plan. I'm too stupid to understand it. But when I take a moment to look back, there's a meaning to everything.

It's great to know we are in good hands! :)