Had an interview with a private practice firm last week. It went ok. We said we'll meet again mid-August 2007 and if all goes well for them (they only recently opened their offices here), I'll join them January 2008.

If possible, I'd like to go in-house. $$-wise is worse but I don't like marketing and worry about liabilities, etc. Had an interview the hkex this afternoon. I was surprised they asked to see me in the first place. I knew they won't hire me as I don't have the necessary experience and background, but still hold my hope for it as it's a good opportunity. Perhaps I wanted the job quite badly, I was nervous, and consequently, didn't do well in selling myself. I'm never good at selling myself, or I won't be where I am now ... : (

After the interview, it's almost confirmed that I won't be hired. : (

Then, one of the colleagues who'd resigned from here had lunch with my boss, and my boss spoke ill of me in front of my colleague! My boss said he found it difficult to work with me - that I don't follow his instructions, he didn't know what I'm doing and was scared from risk management point of view, ... blah blah blah. They are of course unfounded allegations. My appraisal is coming up in over a month, and I could expect to have more of such unfounded allegations and I would have to swallow them ...

I really want to resign and take a break. My dad advised against it. Realistically, he is right, especially for what I do, but it's hard to soldier on here when your boss is just trying to lay blames on you for his own incompetence.

These days, I'm learning to offer all my unhappiness and sufferings to the One Above and ask for His comfort. I did that yesterday too, and one of my best friend, CC, called last night! I was thrilled! I've been so unmotivated for the last several months/half year, so much so that there's a lot I wanted to tell her but just couldn't get round to writing emails to her. Then she called! I feel my prayers have been answered; although I also asked for help to be out of here asap, but I feel comforted. Bless her! : )

She's coming back in September, and she has invited me to join their group for skiing in France later this year. I'm tempted. But GBP and Euros are so expensive these days; I've had skiing lessons, but am afraid of heights and could really only stay in Green runs and some low or half-way of Blue runs ...

We are also planning to go to US next year to visit our mutual best friend. Yeah! :D

I forgot to keep a record of last month's deadline, but I feel it's coming in a week or two's time ...

My memory is getting worse these days, probably because I'm getting old. sf called this morning and asked what did I do during the weekend just passed. I had to make an effort to remember it before I could tell him. Oops.

So, last weekend. Well, did nothing and stayed in all day on Saturday. So tired and exhausted, or really, so unmotivated. As sf said this morning, I'm kind of stuck here. The problem is I don't like it here. They pay me ok, but there's not much for me to do and they have not been giving me the credits I deserve. Anyway, enough of moan and groan - what's the point? Things are not gonna change if I continue moaning and groaning. I should focus on the future.

Came across a few in-house positions lately. Although I don't 100% fit the profile they are looking for but I'm tempted to give it a try. I must get my acts together and get it done. I'll try to do my CV tonight. It may need a revamp as they may not want so much details. We'll see.

Sunday was great. Went to have homemade lunch made by bb after Sunday church. Yum yum! bb is such a good chef. I feel a bit guilty though, as she was so hot and wet just because she was making Sunday lunch for us. I enjoyed the 5-star menue immensely, but am a little unhappy as the lunch has made bb tired. She even insisted on cleaning up, whilst I napped on the couch - By now, you must be shouting "What a pig!" I'm so spoiled : P

Have also been thinking about a friend of mine who got married and is staying in Australia. She has liver cancer. I was lazy and haven't emailed her a little while. Then my best friend who also knows this lady in Aussi told me the lady's condition is not looking well. We used to go to the same college and she's just a year ahead of my best friend and I. I emailed her several weeks ago but haven't heard from her ... I'll pray for her.

In fact, several of my friends are not feeling well lately. One is in constant pain in the neck/shoulder area. bb too! I'll remember them all in my prayers.

Haven't received the Holy Communion in the last few weeks, although I went to Sunday mass. Plan to go to do confession after work today. This confession is in fact long overdue ... Hope I can escape then.

mm had a marathon of meetings today. The day was quiet before lunch and mm was drafting her monthly article on St. Teresa for the church. Then mm's 1st client called, and they agreed to meet at 3:30pm. Then mm's 2nd client (the one that's involved in a family dispute mentioned in yesterday's post) called to confirm instructions. They agreed to meet at 6pm so that letter of engagement may be signed and cost on account may be given to the firm. mm expected the 2nd meeting to be short but it took nearly 2 hours! mm was sympathetic towards their position and they are new to litigation, and she had to explain her advice on the strategy and way forward again and answer questions again. So eventually, mm was in meetings from 3pm (the 2nd client called and they spoke on the phone) until around 8pm! mm was exhausted!

For purpose of acting for the 2nd client, mm had to report the matter to her boss (Joe). Joe raised the question as to how comfortable we are in involving in probate cases. He said he had only "touched" on contentious probate case! He was honest and mm respected that. mm reminded him of my experience in contentious probate matters and said I intended to involve counsel at early stage, and have advised client of that intention. He suggested sf - yes! mm thought, however, that her boss was easy on this one because the team has been very quiet - to the point that everyone has plenty of capacities! Oops!

bb's comment on mm's post of yesterday made her (mm) day! : D

It's been very quiet in the office. For me, that happened since around Oct/Nov last year. Recently, no new instructions came through the door at all ! So what do I do during the time in the office? Mainly, surfing on the net and socialising with colleagues. Honestly, I am worried that I'd be made redundant soon. That itself is stress. I don't know what to do if that happens ??! I'm beginning to see how courageous, strong and tough my younger brother has been - he's able to face so much downturns that had happened with his career. I love him and admire him immensely.

I got close to a colleague recently. We both have been looking out for opportunities. I tried a few in the interim. For one I was one of 3 shortlisted for 2nd interview, but had heard nothing since early Jan this year; no, not even a rejection. It's a brand name company, and I later heard from the news that it's income was below expectation. As it's a back office post, the company had probably put the matter on hold.

With this colleague and a friend of mine, we were thinking of a business in cakes and ice-creams, and we had even thought about our target customers and marketing. Last week, a friend from Uni calle. It was a friendly call but later we moved onto discussing forming a playgroup ! We said we'll do some research. I'm keen on the idea of moving away from the industry I'm currently at.

I await however God's plan for me. In my prayers, I ask Him for wisdom as well as love, faith and hope in Him. : )

Mum and I will join Father Lok and others on a pilgrimage to Israel and Vatican/Italy. I told Sister Catherine that I would do some homework before I go. I very much treasure this opportunity. It's my first pilgrimage and I get to go to where Jesus was born and lived, and a chance to meet the Pope (although at a distance)! I'm so lucky! If you have read the previous posts, you would know how much I wanted to go - so much so that I was seriously considering resigning if my boss wouldn't allow my leave application! Anyway, I didn't need the ultimatum. :)

What homework? Well, learning and/or refreshing my memory of the significance of the various places that we shall be visiting.

I'm told that there are about 123 of us. Yes, it would be a very big crowd! It will be divided into 3 groups. I don't know if I would be in Father Lok's group, but it doesn't matter - I'm sure the other Fathers are just as good and kind :)

I also suggested to mum that she should do the same too. As Sister Catherine and she are going through the bible, starting from the Old Testament, I suggested that perhaps they could do the New Testament first.

I surfed on the net and came across a website of someone's journal to the Holy Land. I quite like the layout - it started with a summary before going into details. I may do similarly, in due course.

It's been a while since I post anything here. (I just checked - it's almost been a month! wow, time really flies!!) Yes, because of laziness. A number of things have happened and I wanted to post it here so that there'll be a record of them, but ...

That's the past. I'm making an effort now. Here's a summary of what has happened, insofar as I can recall and/or worth mentioning here.

1. Pilgrimage in July 2006

At the end of April 2006, Father Lok told me they were going to Israel and Rome in July 2006. I was very interested and wanted to join them immediately. Me being me, I obtained the itinery and the application form (yes, you have to apply for it; something that - at least on the face of it - money doesn't seem to be able to buy) and considered it over the long week in the beginning of May 2006. It goes without saying that I was babbling to bb.

On the following working day, I applied for 2 places - for mum and I. Yes, mum is coming too. I was hesitant as I'm not patient enough and in fact, I debated whether to ask her to join us. I blame myself for having such hesitation as afterall, she's my mum! I only have one; my sister is not with us, my brothers are busy with their respective families ...

There were two difficulties: (1) the travel agent said the tour was already full and mum and I were on waiting list (2) the dates directly clashed with my boss and Richard's leave. (1) was quickly resolved - Father Lok said no problem, although the travel agent still maintains mum and I were on waiting list. (2) was difficult. I spoke to Richard twice and you should have seen the guy's attitude. Not only was it totally non-negotiable, he was rude and bold - bearing in mind his leave had not been approved !! I even told him that if we could not reach a compromise, it's possible that neither of us would be going away. He went, "If the partner tells me he doesn't approve my leave, I'll live with it." So much for a friend ! From then on, I don't talk to him. If he comes into my office, I pretend I'm busy.

I so much wanted to join the others to pilgrimage that I was planning to resign if necessary. Yes, I was very serious about it. To say that I'm interested is an understatement. As I was saying to sf, somehow I felt an urge to go; I don't remember wanted something so badly. I prayed earnestly. I was very sad for an evening or two I was hard-pushed to have someone to talk to; someone who would understand where I was coming from. I called Sister Catherine and felt much better after having spoken to her. She said she would pray for me. In one of my emails to Father Lok keeping him up to date of my position, I asked him to pray for me too. So thick-skin!

My boss is a Christian so he could understand much better. Eventually, he approved my leave - so all 3 of us are going way at the same time. When I told Sister Catherine the good news, she was very happy for me and said after we hang up, she would go to their chapel and thank God. She's wonderful ! I don't know what to do without her.

2. Argument with Ms. Chu on 7 May 2006

I had an argument with Ms. Chu last Sunday. She returned from her pilgrimage last Saturday evening and took Sunday off, so I didn't see her that day. I excused myself from attending a talk about Mary Mother in this coming Saturday, as I have to attend an after-baptism class that runs until end of June 2006. I went back to the office in the afternoon after Sunday Church. Around 3pm, Ms. Chu called. She yelled at me and cross-examined why I'm not attending the talk. I said because I needed to attend the class at St. Teresa's Church. The timing of the two clashes directly with each other. I can only be at one place at one time. She said people put in effort to organise a talk, she told the speaker (Sister Watt) that there'll be a great turnout, whatever I'll learn at that class I can always learn it any other time (implying that she could teach me too), that all I needed to do is to speak to Father Lok and excuse myself, that I'm newly baptised ... blah blah blah. I told her I have taken all those into account when I considered the matter and I think it's more important for me to attend the class than the talk. The class is a once in a life time thing as you are only baptised once, whilst you could and would have talks about Mary Mother later. She wouldn't accept it and kept yelling and screaming at me. Eventually, I said I'd consider it. I just wanted to put down the phone. No point of arguing with her. My position is clear and I have stated it in unequivocal terms.

I was so upset - what have I done wrong??! Why was I put under such tremendous pressure? She sounded as though if the turnout is not good, that's my fault. Am I that important??! Shed a few tears because I was furious with her attitude. Prayed again, then spoke to Yolanda. I said I'm sure I'll learn something whichever event I attend. I weighted the importance and meaning of them before making the decision. And Ms. Chu sounded as though it's important for me to attend the talk on Mary Mother because she needed the number of people or she'll lose face. Sorry, how does that come into the equation??! I felt much better having talked to Yolanda. :)

A few days later, she called again and asked if I'd make a donation to some charity. I agreed at $100. As soon as I said that, there were a few seconds of silence. She must have been expecting more. Well, charity is not the kind of things you could force upon another, right? During that conversation, she said re talk on Mary Mother, she would respect my decision whatever I decide to do, although she wanted me to go to CC. I said nothing. As I said, I have already stated my position. Why repeat myself, when doing so may provoke her??

That same evening, I bumped into Yolanda. Told her re this conversation. It's good to talk to her. :)

From that incident, I'm not sure if my relationship with Ms. Chu could be as good as before. Or look at it another way, I don't want to put all resources on one person. She has all the assistance from CC members. I think if possible, I should help others who are more needy. So perhaps not just this one incident, but it may be a catalyst. I should perhaps thank this incidence as it helps me to crystalise my views and gives me a chance to put some distance between us, as I find her too attached to me. I don't like it and don't feel comfortable with it.

I don't know how she feels. Perhaps she thinks I'm not obedient and rebellious, and I have changed since my baptism, because I don't need her anymore, etc etc. Perhaps the feeling is mutual in that she too, wants to put so distance between us.

If so, that's a compromise.

3. Ms. Chu's visit to CC on Sunday

Spoke to Yolanda re this Sunday. She would take Ms. Chu to CC, although taking her back remains an issue. It's Mother's Day this Sunday and we both have plans. We agreed that she would quietly ask CC members tomorrow when she sees them at the talk. The worst scenario is that we'll put her on a taxi, as there's no slope from where she usually gets off taxi and her flat, so she should be able to cope.

We also agreed that bringing her back to her place after Sunday Church is something CC needs to address as it's looking to be long-term. The problem is occupying someone to specially take care of her every week. We all have our own families, obligations and lives. That may sound selfish, and yes, it is selfish. But we are only human. Further, if we devote all time to her, how would that be fair to our own families, our friends and ourselves??

May be we'll see how well she copes this weekend; perhaps she doesn't need extra help? Even if she does, may be we could take turns??

4. sf

During our conversation today, sf said I should not be obssessed with the Religion; that I should keep a balance. That came about when he asked for my plans this weekend, and I told him I'm going to a class at the Church tomorrow and meeting mum and my family after Sunday Church. He didn't give me a chance to respond. Weird. He also said it's "nonsense" for me to become a nun. Why such unsolicited comments/opinions and also over-reaction it seems??

I just wanted to tell him that I enjoy doing what I'm doing. Who knows? My enthusiasim may die sooner than anyone knows - me being an Aries, although I pray that this will never happen to me.

Why can't he be a bit more like bb, just a bit??! (shoe-shining lah! hee hee)

5. Legion of Mary

Since this March, Father Lok has been recommending this to me. I visited them twice at their weekly meetings and enjoyed them. I like the team spirit and politics-free atmosphere. Father Lok is leading - may be that's why.

I told them I am interested to join them. The procedure is I would then be on probation for 3 months - a chance for me to see if it suits me and if I suit them. However, since I have registered for a short course for the newly baptised (a course in which a number of senior Fathers would be speaking), and that I would be going to prilgrimage, I would only start my probation in August 2006. No hurry. If that's what God wants me to do, I'll do it, sooner or later.

I wasn't going to go on the short course, but Sister Catherine highly recommended it. So I registered it.

6. Sister Catherine

I like Sister Catherine very much and feel very comfortable to share my feelings with her. I knwo she would understand and can see where I'm coming from. The issue of my intended resignation is an example. She didn't say, "yes, do it." Her advice was objective, balanced, realistic and she has no agenda! Now, that's very important.

7. Moving Sam

I'm moving Sam to be a local solicitor tomorrow morning. It's my first time - first debut! Feel very honoured that I'm asked to do so for her. I'm thrilled and excited about tomorrow. Tonight, I'll pray that all goes well, that I won't make a fool of myself and at the same time, embarrass Sam.

Again, nothing much to do at work; only checked if the bill narratives were consistent. Certainly unimportant.

Father Lok responded to my email - he congratulated me for having completed the homework. He said that should be sufficient. He suggested may be I could read some religious books and if time permits, join a religious group e.g. Legion of Mary. Yes, that again. He's the Head of Legion of Mary, so can't blame him, right? I may do so later, but let's see. Don't want to rush into anything.

Went home early. Got myself a fish and some veg and made myself a "hot pot" - yum! It's one of those kind of fish I like but bb would not touch because it has too many bones! Then I had many chocolates. Also, made the other herbal tea and drank it.

When I came out from the wet market, the sky still has a bit of blue and not totally dark. I like it. It means it's still early.

Surfed a bit on the net - nothing particularly excited. Watched tv. Downloaded the photos we took on our recent Korean trip and deleted the duplicates - yes! They are beautiful! Must show bb when she's back. :)

Went to HMV during lunch, looked for CDs on hymns. Didn't see anything appealing but I bought a Lang Lang CD. I listened to it before buying it and wow, it's beautiful! So I bought it. I listened to one by Yo Yo Ma and was going to get that, but after I listened to Lang Lang, I found the latter much more appealing to me. I could have bought both of them. I debated hard but didn't because when I listened to Yo Yo Ma again, it's not as appealing as it was before. I'll look for others. Downloaded it to my mini ipod so I can listen to it to and from work. :)

First day back to work after bbmm's birthday trip. Called sf and spoke to him. He claimed to have sent me a sms on my birthday. I said I didn't get it. It transpired that he remembered it wrongly - he thought it's the 5th! What an idiot!

My boss asked about my trip. I said it was good, but I have allergy probably because of the difference in weather. He looked at me as though the allergy is contagious! Does he have any common sense??!

My teacher asked if I could take her home tonight. I debated about that throughout the day. At the end, time permits so I did. I tried to avoid that because I didn't want her to rely heavily on me again, like what she did before the Korean trip. I felt pressure and wasn't too happy about it. In the end, I left it with Him. I didn't think I could make it anyway because I was waiting for my boss' comments on a draft email, but at around 6:30pm, he said he didn't need me to finalise the email and that I could go. I thought if God has made it possible, I should do as He wanted me to and go with the flow. In the end, it wasn't a bad ride, although I was still a little tired.

When we got to her flat, she gave me a pen (which by Tuesday pm, I still haven't opened it) and a holy cross key ring. I told her I have plenty of pen and key rings, and she should give them to the needy ones. She insisted. So I accepted them and said I shall treat them as a gift from her for my baptism, and I shall accept no more gifts.

The fact is throughout the years, I have been various pens of various brands, but I still prefer the biro from Stablio - they are cheap but very good!

Finished the rest of the homeworks Father Lok asked me to do and sent them to him before I left office. I congratulated myself for having made them before my baptism this Saturday! hee hee.

Called my teacher early in the morning to report on yesterday's interview with Father. She was happy for me and has kindly agreed to get the "distance learning" materials for me. I'm spoilt. :)

Had dim sum lunch with my parents and elder brother. He and his family has just returned from holiday in Europe. I was thrilled to see them, and was eager to spread the good news to them. Dad said I looked very happy. Yes, I was, and still am. :D

Dropped an email to the conductor to share the good news. Why him? Because my teacher has told him about it. If my skin is thick enough, I would have posted this good news on the service team's website and share the joy with others. I bumped into another member of service team. I was so happy that I hugged her and told her the good news.

Called sis (my ex-teacher) and told her the good news. She was very happy for me.

I also called my ex-secretary and shared the good news with her. She has agreed to be my Godmother if I couldn't get someone else.

bb of course couldn't escape the fate of listening to all my babbles. hee hee.

This is a very special Valentine's Day to me - that I would have the love of God. Something I believe will change me.

bb and I went out for dinner. We had a Japanese restaurant in mind but when we got there, it was packed and there was a queue waiting outside it. We went to a local tea house that serves portugese food. Food was nice. I enjoyed it. It's not expensive, but it's not the cost that counts. It's the company that matters.

Because it's Valentine's Day, even sf called me. We wished each other a Happy Valentine's Day.

I feel very special and privileged today. Feel so much love around me. I'm a lucky girl. :)

Because my brain was stuffed with so much love, I couldn't concentrate and didn't do any work today. Oops. Will try to get in earlier tomorrow to deal with them. The idiot boss bought each of us a box of heart-shaped chocolate from Cova and a small card, wishing us a Happy Valentine's Day. What's wrong with him??!

mm didn't left the office until 1:30am last night (or this morning?!) Got in the office by around 9:15am this morning. superwoman ! It was difficult to get out of bed this morning, but I did. The stupid boss kept saying ask for an extension to file and serve the documents. I said nothing. Worked very hard today. We (Colleague and I) were ready by around 3pm, so there should be ample time to deal with filing and servie. That stupid boss only started reviewing it the final time around lunch and kept amending them. If the amendments were worth it, that's fine. But he got very bogged down on one thing and didn't know how to let go. In the end, the documents left our office around 4:10pm and our colleague had to make it to the court in 10 minutes before it closes at 5pm. But we made it - yeah!

I was very tired but very excited because we made it ! I left office around 6:15pm, and went to UNI. Picked up the shirt that I bought over last weekend. Then shopped for new bras - and I bought 4 - ha ha ha :D I also rewarded myself with sushi and sashmi - yum - although bought a bit too much.

I also feel lucky because I got an email from Maisie - we met in school when I was around 15, I think - and her family (including her son) is coming back at the end of Feb for 2 weeks - hurry!

Made enquiry re CNY cakes from bbmm's favourite store - they are open until this Saturday. So worse come to worse, bbmm could go on that day, which is a public holiday - hurray - although it makes no difference to bb as she has a 5-day week job. That makes me envious.

mm has ordered a large sirloin steak and 2 packs of rack of lamb to share with bb. We'll probably do it over the coming weekend. Only if that starts tomorrow.

mm has been working on two documents with London counsel and colleague, that need to be given to the other side tomorrow the latest. They have worked hard on those documents and from their perspective are ready. Just when mm thinks that she could go home earlier tonight, her boss and local counsel - 2 imbeciles - said they have comments and their comments are extensive and self-serving ! mm and "her team" thought the documents read well and our case is strong. But the boss said to mm that he didn't want to include a lot of the details because they may be used against us in another case ! And, he is going to make a strong case weak because of that !! The sad thing is that from day one, mm and her colleague have been saying to the boss that there is 99% chance of losing the other case and advised the boss not to fight, or it would be a waste of time and money. He won't listen. The case was heard recently. The judge was not with us at all. The boss blames the judge being biased - can you beat this??!

Lucky mm got out of that case earlier and didn't have to go through the pain and lose face in court.

Further, their comments are stylistic. Only one or two points have substances. Sad.

Because of the 2 imbeciles, it's more than likely that mm won't go home until late and would have to come in early tomorrow. All these are unnecessary. The 2 imbeciles should have given us their comments 2 months ago - yes 2 months!

mm is writing this post because she's waiting for the boss to discuss his comments with her before she could take the matter forward. And the boss had the audacity to ask if she had started the amendment. mm gave it to me there and then - told him "no" because she didn't know the boss's comments and didn't know if he would agree with any of the other imbecile's comments. Dude.

If I were the boss, that counsel would have been fired long ago.