Business site wisebread asked would you relocate for the perfect job?

The answer is: I have, I am, and I’ll probably do it again.

It’s never been for the perfect job. The first time was way way back when mm and I left London. I count that because it resulted in a near perfect job for me. The Bank was very very good to me over the course of the next few years. Those moves weren’t perfect either, and I had to take a pay cut to move to Stamford, but it was valuable experience.

I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t take this job with half an eye on moving to Chicago. Though it was never promised, there was always the hint. Is it a perfect job? Hell, no. Where will I go next? Hell if I know.

And that’s the issue. I was born without a country (I was a resident, we didn’t have citizenship), and so I have to innate concept of where I’m from, patriotism and all that. And I can’t project more than 2-3 years ahead, either in terms of job or location. I know where I don’t want to be, and that’s it.

It’s been hard for mm and I. I guess that if things were different wrt society, it’d have been different for us. There’s no use going down that ‘what if’ route.

This one’s gakked from shoey. I haven’t done a meme since early September, seems like a good time for one. I’m glad I have a blog so I can look up what I did on a particular day.

1. Where did you begin 2009?
   At home, getting ready to fly to Chicago. And posting about how i lost 15 pounds


2. What was your status by Valentines Day?
   no change, my status won’t ever change I think


3. Were you in school anytime this year?
   nope


4. Did you have to go to the hospital?
   not for myself, but far too many times as a visitor


5. Did you have any encounters with the police?
   none, unless I count meeting Trish and VK


6. Where did you go on vacation?
   gcls and ptown; none with mm, but we’re planning a short trip during my home leave next year


7. What did you purchase that was over £100?
   oh lots, because of the move — my car, iphone, small tv, netbook, ereader, sofa bed, kitchen bar table, weights and bench


8. Did you know anybody who got married?
   shoey, the aforementioned Trish, and Kelly from work


9. Did you know anybody who passed away?
   yes


10. Did you move anywhere?
    yep, to Chicago


11. What sporting events did you attend?
    none


12. What concerts/shows did you go to?
    the only ones I can think of are the two drag shows at ptown


13. Describe your birthday.
    a non event


14. What is the ONE thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2009?
    buy a pc


15. What have been your favourite moments?
    running in 6 races


16. Any new additions to your family?
    nope


17. What was your best month?
    dunno, they all blend into each other


18. Who has been your best drinking buddy?
    postie, Chef, Ruth


19. Made new friends?
    between the book signings, gcls, ptown and facebook, I am ending 2009 with a phenomenal increase in the number of friends as the beginning of the year


20. Favorite Night out?
    in april, when i was staying with mm after my stuff got packed. not a special date per se, just being home


21. Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
    work, which is a relief because in 2008 the answer would have been “on the plane” or “travelling”


22. Have you lost any friends this year?
    I don’t keep in touch with people, so i’m not as close to people from the ml-alumni anymore


23. Change your hairstyle?
    for a couple of days, then it got uncomfortable and i switched back


24. Have any car accidents?
    *knock on wood* no


25. How old did you turn this year?
    [redacted]


26. Do you have a New Year’s resolution?
    they’re all running and exercise related


27. Did anything embarrassing?
    apparently I was a bit friendly with the Karin Kallmaker while drunk, but I don’t remember it. what’s more, i didn’t have a hangover the next day, but Car did even though she didn’t drink


28. Buy anything new from eBay?
    nope


29. Get married or divorced?
    nope


30. Get hit on?
    me? who’d be that desperate?


31. Been snowboarding?
    only on the wii fit


32. Did you get sick this year?
    a couple of bad coughs, and that pesky cape cod crud that truly did the rounds


33. Are you happy to see 2009 go?
    yes and no. it was a year of change, of having to cope with a change of location and all the stresses that are associated with it. Add to it change in reporting line at work, and work itself getting very busy and intense. Missing mm more than I expected. On the good side, health was genrally good; running was good. 2010 will be a year of consolidation, i hope


34. Been naughty or nice?
    i don’t think I know how to do naughty

I couldn’t stand it anymore, my hair looked and felt awful. I’ve been struggling for over half a year to find someone to cut my hair properly and it’s been no luck so far. I’ve had a total of 2 people cut my hair regularly during my adult life, I wasn’t hopeful I’d find someone here.

The other day I was coming home from running and I remembered there was a newish place around the corner, on Broadway. So I went to make an appointment yesterday. Almost didn’t, cos they had a dog inside the shop!

I was pleasantly surprised today. The stylist was knowledgeable, the first person ever to actually take a look at how my hair grew and how it can look better. The one thing he suggested was for me to part my hair on the right so it flows with how it grows from the crown. Wow. I’ve always parted my hair on the left, it feels uncomfortable. But, actually, it looks good.

Unbelievably, people < a href=”http://www.truemirror.com/theory01.asp” title=”truemirror”>study how the side that you part your hair is an indication of your personality. srsly.

My cousin tagged me for this.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6.30am, had an early conference call


2. How do you like your steak? rare


3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? district 9


4. What is your favorite TV show? amazing race


5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? switzerland


6. What did you have for breakfast? honey nut cheerios with skim milk


7. What is your favorite cuisine? japanese


8. What foods do you dislike? onions


9. Favorite Place to Eat? a good japanese restaurant with mm


10. Favorite dressing? prefer no dressing


11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? hyundai tiburon


12. What are your favorite clothes? hard rock café polo shirts, jeans, acupuncture sneakers


13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? alaska, antarctica


14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? was half full, increasingly half empty


15. Where would you want to retire? here would be nice, but not sure if that’s what mm wants


16. Favorite time of day? after dinner


17. Where were you born? [redacted]


18. What is your favorite sport to watch? football, handball


19. Who do you think will not tag you back? not bothered


20. Person you expect to tag you back first? not bothered


21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? not bothered


22. Bird watcher? nope


23. Are you a morning person or a night person? night


24. Do you have any pets? no


25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? i bought a new car, started a new project at work, doing nano again this year


26. What did you want to be when you were little? i had no idea


27. What is your best childhood memory? playing at my grandparents’ toy shop


28. Are you a cat or dog person? cats, even though i’m allergic; i’m petrified of dogs


29. Are you married? i don’t know how to answer this


30. Always wear your seat belt? yes, even in the back seat


31. Been in a car accident? yes


32. Any pet peeves? people who don’t respect my personal space, loud people, stupid people…people in general


33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? ham & pineapple


34. Favorite Flower? not sure, tulips? roses? zucchini flowers?


35. Favorite ice cream? vanilla


36. Favorite fast food restaurant? vending machine noodle shops in japan. oh here in the US? Jimmy John’s (thanks Car) and, um, McDonalds


37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? big. fat. zero


38. From whom did you get your last email? someone at work


39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? john lewis


40. Do anything spontaneous lately? nope


41. Like your job? sometimes


42. Like broccoli? yes, but i don’t cook with it


43. What was your favorite vacation? new zealand


44. Last person you went out to dinner with? a bunch of us from work went to the buffet place at sears (ahem, not willis) tower


45. What are you listening to right now? food network


46. What is your favorite color? black


47. How many tattoos do you have? none


48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? none


49. What time did you finish this quiz?10.10pm


50. Coffee Drinker? no

click here and enter your name. Just do it. It’s awesome.

This is the Personas project from the MIT Media Lab. Basically, it takes your name and searches the web for some context around it. It then takes the words and sites it finds to build a profile of your presence on the web. Obviously if there are multiple people with the same name the profile will be a combination of all the names.

So I entered watty boss and it tells me that I’m online and social, but mostly it’s fame, which earned a big “huh?” from me. Does it mean I’m a celebrity? Paparazzi? Weird.

Now when I enter my real name it gives me:

So pleased!!! It means my effort in keeping my privacy has paid off. Phew.

Obviously the tool is searching for 2 words, not specifically names. So when I put in invisible company it goes through a lot of searches and gives an interesting restult. The process of the search is worth watching, and I screencapped a video.



[via]

I’m sure I’ve done similar memes before, but it’s been a while. And I’ve been tagged by a couple of people. So, here goes.

If you opened this, FILL IT OUT! Learn 37 things about your friends, and let them learn 37 things about you! Send back to me and to several more friends!

1. Do you like Blue Cheese dressing?
   yep, though i will only put a tiny bit, i’m not very keen on dressing


2. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?
   a few, when i was younger. now i won’t smoke one for a million dollars


3. Do you own a gun?
   yes, i have a marshmallow shooter


4. What flavor of Kool-Aid was your favorite?
   to my knowledge, i’ve never had kool-aid


5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
   no, why would i be nervous?


6. What do you think of hot dogs?
   indifferent


7. Favorite Christmas movies?
   christmas movies are not a tradition


8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
   tea


9. Can you do push ups?
   yep, though not as many nor as strong as i’d like


10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
    the swarovski jigsaw necklace i bought at changi airport, mm has the matching piece


11. Favorite hobby?
    being a geek


12. Do you have A.D.D.?
    yep yep


13. Do you wear glasses/contacts?
    it’s a necessity


14. Middle name?
    HA!!!


15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
    a) guilty about using the wind, missing the mbp; b) can’t believe i ate a whole mcdonalds angus third pounder with mushroom and cheese with fries and chocolate milkshake; c) good hospital visit today


16. Name 2 or 3 drinks you regularly drink?
    coke zero, tea, water


17. Current worry?
    something at work


18. Current hate right now?
    something at work


19. Favorite place to be?
    home


20. How did you bring in the New Year?
    at home


21. Where would you like to go?
    home. oh, i’m supposed to answer a location? antarctica


22. Name three people who will complete this.
    whoever


23. Do you own slippers?
    yep, flip flop house slippers and a ton of soft toweling ones from hotels


24. What color shirt are you wearing?
    navy blue


25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
    never tried, doubt i’d like it


26. Can you whistle?
    barely


27. Where are you now?
    in the dining room at car’s house


28. Would you be a pirate?
    no, don’t like masses of water where i can’t see the bottom


29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
    i don’t


30. Favorite Girl’s Name?
    jane, anything simple


31. Favorite boy’s name?
    jonathan


32. What’s in your pocket right now?
    i’m in shorts, nothing in the pockets


33. Last thing that made you laugh?
    something i read


34. What vehicle do you drive?
    no car yet, but if i did it’d probably be a golf


35. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
    messed up my knee in a skiing accident


36. Do you love where you live?
    i’m getting settled


37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
    two, bear in mind there’s only one of me

More facebook meme madness, gakked from my cousin.

gakked from stacia’s lj.

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by “ology”.

Car tagged me on fb for one of those write-25-random-things-about-yourself memes. Coincidence cos I just updated my version of 25 things. I’m supposed to tag the person who tagged me, plus 24 other people. I won’t do that cos I have 26 friends on fb and aside from the question of who to leave out I don’t want to meme-spam. That, and I’m not sure i can tag people on an imported note.

1. i’m close to my family but i don’t see them very often
2. we’re a small family, and certainly not the touchy feely type of family
3. i’ve lived on 3 continents and travelled to 6, gotta get that pesky Antarctica checked off my list soon
4. i’m moving to chicago…i’m excited and utterly petrified
5. the cynic in me believes that the concepts of true love, happy ever after and soulmates are scams to give us hope…and yet i’ve been building my collection of romance books
6. i’m officially in a relationship, but to all intents and purposes i’m single
7. i live alone in a 2-bedroom apartment that i own outright
8. it’s full of stuff; although, everything is well organised
9. i don’t need 95% of that stuff, cos i spend most of my awake and home time at my desk with my mbp
10. i have a website, 4 or 5 domain names, 3 flickr accounts, 2 twitter accounts, 1 each of youtube and vimeo accounts, 2 tumblogs, 5 yahoo accounts, 4 gmail addresses, 3 myspace accounts and 2 facebook accounts, all of which i keep active to varying degrees
11. i own 149 swatches, 20+ pairs of sneakers and a whole stack of hard rock café polo shirts
12. i can be described as a late early adopter
13. i wish fewer people would switch to macs cos i don’t feel special anymore
14. i’d like to learn photography and definitely need to use my EOS more — having the point-and-shoot permanently in my backpack has been bad for my photo skillz
15. the last song added to my itunes is “Human” by the Killers — I’ll do a post on it shortly
16. i sang in a choir in college and i played the piano as a kid but actually…i can barely hold a tune
17. i find it hard to understand temperatures in fahrenheit, it takes me a second or two to convert, so forgive the delayed response
18. prefer km, but miles is okay
19. my aim is to run 10km in under 50mins (last 10km on new year’s day came in at 1.05)
20. eventually work up to half marathon
21. i have 8 full length stories in various stages of wip
22. i know i could have been a) way more senior and b) way way way better paid long time ago, but i’m too lazy to be aggressive and ambitious at work
23. all i want is to retire and stay home
24. i don’t like people
25. and yes, i have a big complex about telling people my real name

I added a new personal page. In case you don’t make it a habit of checking the about page, the personal pages are sporadic updates of 25 things in my life. Since I’ve kinda neglected to update them much this year, i figured that posting about a new page here will remind me to not let a whole year go by without updating. Here’s the list in, um, list format.

1. flickr 5,401 photos, 7,483 views
2. to do list buy stuff, organise move, try not to panic before moving
3. in my backpack e-ticket, moving notebook, environmentally friendly shopping bag, iPod, camera
4. gadget earbuds for ipod, crazy taxi game for PSP
5. new on iTunes kanye, ne-yo, britney and jd’s band
6. stress level i’m the human rms, i’m flying on sunday, i haven’t started moving … what stress lol
7. running i can do 6, 8, 10k easy now. 8.8km/hr — need to work on speed
8. city chicago
9. last vacation hokkaido, seems so long ago
10. love of my life what to do, i’m leaving again
11. food turkey leftovers
12. drink hot coke with lemon and ginger
13. transport walking
14. books sci-fi, fantasy disguised as regular romances
15. film whatever was on the plane
16. kit i can get into my old 501s again, woot
17. net citizen omg i’m on facebook
18. color black
19. covet time to organise my life
20. obsession the move
21. freesquare met a fb friend who likes katherine kerr *and* ivy
22. like getting into the running routine
23. hate the uncertainty of our future
24. daydreaming we both end up with jobs in london
25. smell cold weather

via mefi again, a tool to analyse the MBTI personality of your blog. This is what I got:

I’m INTJ, occasionally ISTJ. 100% introvert. We all know this. And this here tool is saying I’m ESFP, which is the exact opposite??? I don’t get it.

Well, actually I do.

What I write here can be described as light, light-hearted, and even…trivial. I don’t post about anything controversial or deep. There’s tons of pictures of food, music I found, anything mac related, or quirky stuff I come across. Occasionally there’d be a rant. Mostly, I keep to basically harmless stuff, not only because I am aware that this is permanent public record but because this is a place where I want to record some interesting stuff that I like. It is my little escapist heaven. No wonder the tool thinks the writer of this blog is entertaining and friendly. evil laugh

OMG, why has it taken me so long to find it. I so have to start doing this!! via bb, over at quantified self, Alexandra Carmichael explains how she keeps a record of 40 different things in her life every day, and what she’s learned about herself from studying the data.

I track these things about my health and personal patterns every day:

- sleep (bed time, wake time, sleep quality, naps)
- morning weight
- daily caloric intake (each meal, total calculated at end of day)
- mealtimes

• mood (average of 3 positive and 3 negative factors on 0-5 scale)
  
• day of menstrual cycle
  
• sex (quantity, quality)
  

• exercise (duration, type)
  
  

• supplements I take (time, dosage)
  

• treatments for vulvodynia (a chronic pain condition)
  
• pain of administering the vulvodynia treatment I take (0-5)
  
• vulvodynia-related pain (0-5)
  

• headache,nausea (0-5)
  
  

• time spent working, time with kids
  

• number of nursings and night wakings (I’m a mom)
  
• weather
  
• unusual events (text)
  
  

The mood factors I measure every day are:
1. Happiness
2. Irritability
3. Calmness
4. Sadness
5. Feeling beautiful / self-love
6. Feeling fat / ate too much

She used google spreadsheets initially, and this came out of a project of setting up cure together, a platform for open source health research.

I don’t think it’s difficult to set up a spreadsheet for this, and in a way I’m kinda sorta tracking some stuff in different places. I can see myself tracking things like:

• time I wake up, leave for work, arrive at work, arrive back home
• meal times and what i ate
• calorie intake and expenditure (something that daily plate does well)
• exercise — daily plate again, plus I now record my runs on both nike plus and twitter
• weight
• blog posts made
• google reader posts read
• books read
• words written
• IM convos
• emails read and answered (home and work)
• number of facebook requests received

Alexandra analysed her data by looking at correlation between moods and certain activities like exercise. I can’t quite see myself tracking moods, cos it’ll be “meh” almost all the time. My motivation for tracking will be for the sake of getting data and putting them into pretty graphs.

And no, I won’t be tracking
- sex (quantity, quality)

gakked from candleshoe, which shows how infrequently I’m checking lj, cos she originally got this from zhyan, who is on my friends list. Anyway, there were a couple of missing questions, and I managed to google them, and found an even longer meme that contained some of this meme, but not the last part. Man, this is complicated, I’m sticking with shoey’s version.

1. How old will you be in 12 months?
   why do memes always have to start with a personal question? The answer is no


2. Do you think you’ll be married by then?
   no


3. What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
   looking forward to, and dreading: moving to Chicago


4. Who was the last person you called?
   SC, to organise my farewell lunch with people at my old company


5. Who was the last person to call you?
   mm, it’s so easy now


6. Do you prefer to call or text?
   text


7. Do you have any pets?
   no


8. What were you doing at 12am last night?
   sleeping


9. Parents separated/divorced/married?
   married


10. When is the last time you saw your dad?
    at my niece’s birthday almost 3 weeks ago


11. What happened at 11:00a.m.?
    at work


12. How many states have you lived in?
    one


13. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
    four


14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
    outside: shoes, inside: slippers


15. What was the last thing you ate?
    fruit salad of apple, papaya, blueberries and persimmon


16. Favorite ice cream?
    vanilla


17. What is your favorite dessert?
    apple crumble


18. What is your favorite TV show?
    amazing race


19. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
    grape, I suppose — pb&j doesn’t feature in my diet


20. Do you like coffee?
    no


21. How many glasses of water a day do you drink?
    just water, may be 2-3. including all the liquids, around the 8 required


22. What do you drink in the morning?
    tea


23. Would you rather kiss someone with or without a tongue ring?
    since I’ve only kissed one person in my life, and she has no tongue ring, i have no comparison


24. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
    yes, the middle


25. Do you know how to play poker?
    in theory yes, in practice no


26. Do you like to cuddle?
    mm likes leaning on me, does that count?


27. Any plans for this weekend?
    haircut, shopping in preparation for Chicago, lunch with mm on sunday, running


28. Do you eat out or at home more often?
    at home


29. Have you ever drank?
    not until I was in my 30s, there was a period when I drank a lot, but now may be wine or beer occasionally


30. Have you ever been in an ambulance?
    I think once, can’t remember, when I fell over and broke my forehead at school, that was when I got my stitches


31. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
    pool


32. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
    window although my last trip I opted for aisle cos they were BA club world seats and the window seats face backwards


33. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
    yes. I’m not gonna make a driving stick joke


34. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
    gadgets


35. Do you wear jewelry 24/7?
    i don’t wear jewelry


36. Do you speak any other language?
    yes


37. Can you roll your tongue?
    yep


38. Who is the funniest person you know?
    can’t think of anyone now


39. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
    


40. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
    no


41. What is the color of your bedroom walls?
    white


42. Do you like overly sensitive people?
    i’m not sure if i have the patience


43. Are you single?
    supposedly no, but to all intents and purposes yes


44. Who is the best hugger that you know?
    my niece


45. Do you believe in love at first sight?
    no. i want to, but i’m not convinced it is possible and definitely i can’t see it happening to me


46. Is there something you want to tell someone?
    to people in general: go away


47. What brand of shirt are you wearing?
    an old X-files t-shirt, the colour and label has since faded


48. What do you think about the person you got this from?
    calm, witty, knows what she wants from herself and life. i wish i had more time in London last week so i could have gotten in touch and meet up


49. How many kids do you want to have?
    none


50. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
    yes


51. Do you wanna change your name?
    oh yes. unless absolutely necesary i don’t use my name, i can happily live in a world without a name


52. What did you do for your last birthday?
    i stayed home and had a quiet day


53. What time did you wake up today?
    before 6am, either jetlag or stress


54. Name something you CANNOT wait to do:
    RETIRE


55. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
    be less impatient


56. Which hand do you like better?
    i’m right-handed but wish i were left-handed


57. What are you listening to right now?
    nothing. i was watching Rachel Maddow’s podcast earlier


58. Have you ever talked to Tom?
    heh, now this is when i think this comes from myspace. tom, don’t forcefully add yourself as my friend


59. Have you ever donated money to a good cause?
    yes


60. Least favorite month?
    july, cos it gets too hot


61. What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone?
    i don’t borrow clothing, the last piece would have been years and years ago from mm, probably a shirt


62. Who’s getting on your nerves right now?
    people from work


63. Most visited webpage?
    here, my greader, flickr


64. Would you help your best friend fight if he/she is losing?
    i’d help her fight regardless


65. What’s the worst day of your life?
    i’ve been quite blessed so far *fingers crossed*


66. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past week?
    i kissed mm in the lift, in the lift lobby and in my office today — but this is highly unusual


67. Do you disagree with a lot of things going on in the world?
    yes, too many cooks. too many incompetent cooks. too many generals and not enough foot soldiers. too many big egos and not enough doers

LASTS
1. Last cigarette: not cigarette, the cigar at Zurich Oktoberfest in 2001
2. Last beverage: water
3. Last phone call: mm called me to say she was ready for lunch…at 4.30pm, it’s been that sort of day
4. Last text message: sis, when we were meeting up at the yacht club
5. Last CD played: LOL let’s modernise shall we? last playlist on itunes was the running one for…running
6. Last bubble bath: at one of the hotels this year
7. Last time you cried: mm made me emotional at home a few weeks ago, i don’t want to go into why
8. Last meal: our 4.30pm lunch, i had noodles

List FOUR people you can tell pretty much anything to:
[i struggled with this one, because i don’t have anyone i can tell anything to. certain people know a lot about certain aspects of me, but nothing about other aspects]

Have You Ever:
1. Dated someone twice? no
2. Been cheated on? kinda
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? no
4. Fallen in love? yes, we were so very in love so very long ago
5. Lost someone? yes
6. Been depressed? yes but not in the clinical sense
7. Been drunk and thrown up? yes, thankfully only twice

Name SIX things you did in the past three days
1. running
2. walked home from the office today in lieu of running
3. brought breakfast (ham & egg sandwich) and lunch (chicken pasta) to work
4. set up a large scale webex for next week, which i will host
5. completed the paperwork and made appointment for my US visa
6. researched high quality earphones for my ipod

List THREE favorite colors:
1. black
2. blue
3. um, black

List TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. go to Antarctica
2. write a book, a proper book not fanfic

In 2008 have you:
1. Been to school? no way
2. Made a new friend? a bunch of work friends — my chicago team members
3. Fallen out of love? no
4. Done something you swore never to do? signed up at facebook
5. Laughed until you cried? yes, but i can’t remember the occasion
6. Met someone who changed your life? no, not unless i count the manager who asked me to go to Chicago
7. Gotten close to someone? no
8. Found out who your true friends were? i know already

What do you think of:
1. Bush?
   so many things to say about Bush, which can be summed up by an exasperated sigh and shake of the head
2. Gay Marriage?
   probably warrant a separate, more thoughtful post. I just want to paraphrase a comment i read in the San Francisco Chronicle, where the commenter looked forward to the day when being gay is as big a deal as being left-handed

I did the unthinkable. I joined facebook, and myspace. Actually I’ve had a couple of myspace accounts for ages, but I never updated it. And I discovered one of them has been there since 2005. Wow. I updated it, but I’m quickly getting a tad bored of it.

The leap to facebook is even more extreme. I held out for the longest time, then I thought sod it and bit the bullet. Again, 2 accounts. Big firewall between them cos I have to separate my online life with my real life-life. So far I’ve been systematically adding friends, and others have friended me, it’s an all round friendly situation.

So, follow me, friend me, write on my wall. Follow the links on the sidebar here ————->

I’ve been thinking of which phone to get in Chicago. The heart says iPhone, but I hate the prospect of going through the whole pwnage process. The android G1 is tempting, as are the new blackberries. I will have a bb from work, so it may be weird to have two.

In any case, the thought is that a landline isn’t necessary so I will need more functionality and I know the plans in the US are not competitive, especially since I will only consider the GSM networks. Still, I doubt I’ll change my behaviour even if I get super-duper smartphones:

• I don’t give my number out
• I won’t answer a call if it’s a number I don’t recognise
• Even if I answer, I will let the other party speak first and hang up if it’s not a legitimate call
• I will not use voicemail, if it’s part of a bundle I’ll not activate it and certainly won’t respond

I don’t understand why when a phone call comes in, I have to drop everything I’m doing and attend to it. And calls where the caller ID isn’t displayed is plain rude. I mean, with most forms of direct interaction—be it a letter, email or ringing the bell at the door—I, the recipient, can usually see who is sending/initiating the contact. Why phones were developed without caller display is baffling. Even so, why stop at just displaying a number? Even with unstored numbers all callers should be forced to display their name and purpose for calling.

And now there is hope. A new invention, truecall, intercepts all calls. It has a pre-programmed white- and blacklist. If the call is from the whitelist (the inventors call it the star list) the call is let through automatically. If from the blacklist (or zap list), it is rejected. An unrecognised number will receive an automated enquiry that asks for name and purpose for calling. It will then ask you whether to let the call through or not. The white- and blacklists are remembered. £99.99, which I’d be willing to pay to be rid of nuisance calls.

The best way of hacking through and possibly getting a response will be to text me. I like sms, because it’s not intrusive, gets the message across, and is free of the needless small talk that is necessary in a phone call. I’m glad that my feelings are vindicated. wireless and mobile news reports on a Sprint-sponsored study that:

a text is far more likely to elicit a quick response than voice mail. In fact, those under the age of 30 are four times more likely to respond within minutes to a text message compared to a voice mail, and 91 percent respond to a text message within one hour. Adults 30 and older are also quick to text — and are twice as likely to respond within minutes to a text message as compared to a voice message.

The older you are, the less likely you will respond to a text. I guess it’s the resistance to change — older people have gotten stuck in the habit of listening to a human voice. Even though we all know that speaking is less concise. As giz pointed out:

Why listen to your friend Jane hem and haw about a good time to meet up [on voicemail] when you could’ve spent three seconds reading “Im in da city. U free 2 meet?”

Even the NYT is into personality test memes. The one that interested me was yet another mbti type of test from the strangely named youjustgetme.com. They encourage users to establish a profile and ask others to guess the peronality type with nothing but a username. Kindly pointless, but the profile setting was informative, if again predictable.

The filler-type bubbles are cuter than graphs anyway even though they don’t know how to spell extroverts. I wonder if I scored more than 0% cos there is a tiny bubble there, or whether that’s the smallest size available.

My personality tendencies in a nutshell:

You are very dependable and almost always follow through with your commitments. You feel comfortable with routine, but you are also quite receptive to new experiences. You are calm and logical for the most part, but some things worry you more than others. You fight for your own best interests and are comfortable expressing your opinions for purposes greater than others’ emotions. You live a quiet life and are reserved in your actions and behaviors. [very accurate so far]

About that Disciplined bubble… To always be responsible and dependable gets too heavy at times and you just have to shirk it all sometimes of and do something that is wild and crazy, like going to sleep WITHOUT brushing your teeth. [ABSOLUTELY NOT! Other impulsive things may be, but no going to bed without brushing teeth and cleaning face] Come and do your worst, dental bacteria! No one is arguing that you are not reliable; it’s just that you differ from your very high conscientious peers in that you also have some streaks of impulsivity and can make some spontaneous decisions, rather than lumbering through all of the alternative scenarios. Maybe you’re disorganized (God forbid), or perhaps you like to leave your dirty socks all over the house (the horror), or you’re a procrastinator (that’s the worst one of all). Whatever is the case, you are not conscientious to the extent that you bore people with your stodgy ways.

About those Traditional and Alternative bubbles… Openness is not one of your defining traits. This means that while you do value creativity and artistic expressions to some degree, you are also equally comfortable with conservatism and things that are more plain and simple. Depending on the context, you may be more interested in concrete ideas versus abstract thinking, and vice versa. It could also be that you are highly open in some areas, and more conservative in other areas of your life. Maybe you’re the type of person who has quite the vivid imagination and are chock-full of enthusiasm for different concepts, but prefer to stick to “safer” foods that you recognize. Raw fish anyone? NOT. [agree with everything except the last word. I know what the analysis is trying to say — it’s the reason why I can be a writer yet have zero artistic or musical talent, it’s just that my creativity is focused on one area]

About those Unemotional and Neurotic bubbles… To quote the Hershey chocolate company, “sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.” That pretty much sums up your score on the trait of emotional stability. There are times when you feel such intensity of emotions, mostly negative, that you just want to lie down and spend the day thinking about how you can score Prozac. In other contexts (like when you are on your meds), you feel just fine - calm, happy, ready to face the day. The emotions cancel each other out and you look like you are dealing with life fairly well statistically. Another possibility for your middle scores on emotional stability is that some things push your button more than others and when your buttons get pushed, you stress and freak. What’s that I hear? Is that your mom calling? For the most part though, you are the epitome of grace under pressure. [I think it’s a fight between caring and not caring. When I care, I care and when I couldn’t care less, I’m uncaring to the point of callousness]

About that Competitive bubble… Hello Oscar, the grouch. This would be your alter-ego, if you had one. Other media characters you may identify with include: grumpy smurf, grouchy dwarf, and Jack Nicholson with a golf club in his car. No, you’re not really that bad, you say to yourself. People just misunderstand the fact that you have a strong personality. Yeah, okay. You enjoy being argumentative, and find yourself using phrases like, “I’m going to squash you like a bug” even during a friendly game of Candyland with your five-year old niece. Wasn’t it enough that you already beat her at Old Maid? Had to finish her off, did ya? You might have trouble admitting defeat, even when you suspect that you are in the wrong. Being stubborn may win you a bunch of victories, but why is the person reading this over your shoulder nodding? [this is mildly surprising cos I never thought of myself as competitive or ambitious. Then again I won’t be where I am without lots of arrogance and directness which can translate to competitiveness]

About that Introverted bubble… Do you have difficulty remembering what your voice sounds like sometimes because you rarely ever use it? Do you talk to people at parties, or are you too busy hiding in a corner? Has anyone ever filed a missing persons report on you just to find you days later in the basement playing your one millionth game of solitaire? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be what psychologists call introverted. [not may be] Introverted people can mostly be found among librarians, scientists, and any other professions where an individual would never have to interact with another human being, ever. In fact, the prospect of having to deal with people may give you hives. What do you know, introverts, you may have a medical condition. You tend to be a hesitant person and have to mull things over for days, weeks, and even years before you act on whatever idea you have. If you wait too long though, opportunity might just slip away and you’ll never know what could have been. On the bright side, introverts are typically geniuses, mad geniuses with crazy hair, but geniuses nonetheless. [for genius, read sociopath mastermind]

A while ago Car and I were chatting about the possibility of attending a writer’s conference next summer. I edited down the chat but the point is instead of looking at the exciting things I could get to experience at this conference, all I felt was fear. Fear of crowds, fear of having to interact with strangers, fear that I’d offend people by appearing stand-offish and unresponsive. Truth is I react badly with strangers, especially people who are harmless and just trying to get to know me better.

I already know I’m INTJ or occasionally ISTJ on the myers-briggs test. I also know that I almost always come out as 100% introvert, whether it’s some serious long test, or pseudo-humorous test.

INTJ -The Mastermind

You scored 0% I to E, 47% N to S, 52% F to T, and 21% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more thinking based than feeling based, and you prefer to have a plan rather than leaving things to chance. Your type is best described by the word “mastermind”, which belongs to the larger group called rationals. Only 1% of the population shares your type. You are very strong willed and self-confident. You can hardly rest until you have things settled. You will only adopt ideas and rules if they make sense. You are a great brainstormer and often come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. You are open to new concepts, and often actively seek them out.

As a romantic partner, you can be both fascinating yet demanding. You are not apt to express your emotions, leaving your partner wondering where they are with you. You strongly dislike repeating yourself or listening to the disorganized process of sorting through emotional conflicts. You see your own commitments as self-evident and don’t see why you need to repeat something already expressed. You have the most difficulty in admitting your vulnerabilities. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires the quality of your innovations and when they listen respectfully to your ideas and advice. You need plenty of quiet to explore your interests to the depth that gives you satisfaction.

Take The LONG Scientific Personality Test at HelloQuizzy

A more tongue-in-cheek test is the personality defect test. Still comes up with 0% extrovert.

Sociopath

You are 57% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 86% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You are confident and capable of social interaction, but you prefer the silence of dead bodies to the loud, twittering nitwits you normally encounter in your daily life. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you with a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, so tiny and small. You take great pleasure in the misery of others, and there is nothing sweeter to you than the sweet glory of using someone else’s shattered failure to project yourself to success. Except sugar. That just may be sweeter. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don’t kill me for writing mean things about you! I have a 101 mile-long knife! Don’t make me use it!

Take The Personality Defect Test at HelloQuizzy

Heehee, I’m a sociopath mastermind. *evil laugh*

On this 100% introversion business, I know how to interact with extroverts — they are the ones talking and laughing and carrying on the conversation. It seems to me though, that introverts may know how to deal with extroverts, it’s not so easy the opposite way. There seems, at least to me, a lack of understanding of why we act the way we do. People take things so personally, it’s like if I don’t interact with them it’s an affront to their shiny personality when the truth is not the case.

So if I go to this conference, I may need to hand out this list of 5 things every extrovert should know about introverts.

1. If a person is introverted, it does NOT mean they are shy or anti-social.
   It takes me a long time to warm up to people; I just can’t meet a stranger one minute and behave like we’re best friends the next. My natural state is looking inwards, and it takes time and more time for me to get in touch with external factors like the people surrounding me.
2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk.
   That’s true. I can see the necessity, particularly to break the ice, but it seems so pointless and I get bored with it quickly. What I hate? The 20 personal getting-to-know-you questions. Okay, sod it, I dislike talking in general.
3. Introverts do like to socialize.
   But in a different way and not as frequently as extroverts. I can do the socialising thing, even public speaking and *gasp* being charming — but only for a very short period of time. After that, I need to be quiet again.
4. Introverts need time alone to recharge.
   There was a question in the personality quiz about how I feel after a big gathering — emotionally drained or emotionally charged. The answer is definitely drained. I can only take so many meals out, conversations, or functions. I told my mum I need to get mentally prepared even for family gatherings. I get antsy if they go on too long and I feel like I’m missing out on alone time.
5. Introverts are socially well adjusted.
   You know what, I know about politics, etiquette, the arts and stuff. I’m just not very practiced at talking about them like I’m an expert, doesn’t mean I’m socially inept.

I like this commentary from the article:

It’s easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society so having to interact frequently with people came to be a regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival.

Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person is detrimental because it gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something wrong with them, hampering their self worth and esteem when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the first place.

There’s nothing wrong with introverts.

There.

[/leave me alone rant]

gakked from some random LJ — you know when you’re clicking on the search page and you look at someone’s lj and then you look at their friends’ lj and you repeat the process? Anyway, some of these questions are the same as yesterday’s.

1. One of your scars, how did you get it?
   gall bladder removal operation


2. What’s on the walls in your room?
   the poster of bibaushi primary school by shinzo maeda


3. What does your cellphone look like?
   nokia 6300


4. What music do you listen to?
   mainstream indie. okay, that’s an oxymoron


5. So you know what time you were born?
   9.15am


6. What do you want more than anything right now?
   to retire and write


7. Who do you miss?
   mm


8. What’s your middle name?
   no. I mean, that’s not my middle name, like I’d tell anyone my name


9. The best TV show ever created.
   amazing race


10. The last person you talked to?
    mm, not including the taxi driver on the way home


11. Do you get scared in the dark?
    if I do, I snap myself out of it. I can’t afford to, living alone and all


12. The last person to make you cry?
    mm


13. Your favorite cologne / perfume?
    none


14. What kind of hair/eye color do you like on the opposite sex?
    um, why must it be opposite? anyway the answer is I have no preference


15. Would you rather be smart or funny?
    smart


16. Coffee or energy drinks?
    tea


17. What is your favorite pizza topping?
    mushroom, ham and [small voice]pineapple[/small voice]


18. If you can eat anything right now what would it be?
    fresh uni, fresh japanese seafood


19. Who is the last person you made mad?
    probably mm


20. Do you speak another language?
    yes


21. What was the first gift someone ever gave you?
    I think I was 2 or 3 years old, my lovely great-aunt gave me smarties


22. Do you like someone?
    yes


23. Are you double jointed?
    no


24. Favorite clothing brand?
    anything casual


25. What is your dream car?
    merc suv or a convertible mg. if I were realistic I’d say golf


26. What color is it?
    silver for the merc; green for the mg; tornado red for the golf


27. What’s your favorite kind of exercise?
    basketball


28. Would you fall in love knowing that the person is leaving?
    yes. with technology and ease of travel nowadays, it’s not a deal-breaker


29. What is the best way to tell someone how much they mean to you?
    by actions


30. Say a number from one to a hundred:
    28


31. Blondes or brunettes?
    no preference


32. What is the one number you call often?
    mm


33. What annoys you most?
    lateness


34. Have you been out of the US?
    um, I don’t live in the US


35. Your weaknesses?
    impatience


36. Tater tots or fries?
    roast potatoes


37. First job?
    research chemist


38. Ever prank called someone?
    no


39. What were you doing before you filled out this?
    reading


40. If you could get plastic surgery what would it be?
    get rid of all the excess fat and bits


41. Why did you fill out this survey?
    no clue


42. What do you get complimented about most?
    smart and organised


43. What would you do if alcohol became illegal?
    doesn’t bother me


44. What do you want for your birthday?
    new mbp


45. How many kids do you want?
    none


46. Were you named after anyone?
    apparently my dad got my name off a character in a book


47. Do you wish on stars?
    no


48. Which finger(s) is/are your favorite?
    *lost* why?


49. When did you last cry?
    last weekend


50. Do you like your handwriting?
    yes, though it’s small and almost illegible


51. What is your favorite lunch meat?
    ham on the bone


52. Any bad habits?
    don’t like people


53. What is the most embarrassing CD on the shelf?
    80s love song compilation


54. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
    I’d try, but give up cos I never know if I’m liked or just tolerated


55. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?
    don’t think so, I don’t even tell non-secrets to anyone other than the person who told me


56. Do looks matter?
    yes, but it isn’t necessarily beautiful vs ugly — different people have different tastes


57. How do you release your anger?
    I don’t. it’s a problem


58. Where is your second home?
    teh interwebz


59. Do you trust others easily?
    no, but once I do, I do


60. What was your favorite toy as a child?
    all of them, I grew up in a toy shop


61. How many numbers are in your cellphone?
    lots


62. Do you use sarcasm?
    suuuuure


63. Do you know anyone famous?
    not really


64. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
    no


65. What do you look for in a guy/girl?
    compatibility, smartness, someone I feel comfortable with


66. What are your nicknames?
    at work they call me Dr [name]


67. How many pairs of shoes do you have?
    20+


68. Do you un-tie your shoes when you take them off?
    only if i can’t get them off untied


69. Were you upset about Steve Irwin dying?
    sad for his death and family but not sad that he won’t be on tv anymore


70. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
    vanilla


71. Are you lazy?
    yes to the nth degree


72. What are your favorite colors?
    black, blue


73. What is your favorite band?
    difficult to name one: dcfc, starsailor, thirteen senses, ivy…and for oldies fleetwood mac


74. How many wisdom teeth do you have?
    all of them


75. Do you want everyone to answer these questions?
    like who reads this website anyway


76. What are you listening to right now?
    silence


77. Last thing you ate?
    chicken and squid ink pasta


78. Last person you talked to on the phone?
    mm


79. What’s the first thing you notice on the opposite sex?
    hair


80. Favorite thought provoking song:
    radiohead’s creep


81. Favorite thing to hate:
    people


82. Favorite drink:
    coke zero


83. Favorite zodiac sign
    aries


84. Favorite sport
    basketball


85. What is your hair color?
    black


86. Eye color?
    brown


87. Do you wear glasses?
    yep


88. Siblings?
    yep


89. Favorite month?
    april


90. Do you like sushi?
    god, yes


91. Last thing you watched?
    amazing race


92. Favorite day of the year?
    whenever I don’t need to go to work


93. Are you too shy to ask someone one?
    yes


94. Summer or winter?
    winter


95. Kisses or hugs?
    sigh. if only


96. Relationships of one-night stands?
    relationships, sigh


97. Who is the most likely to answer these questions?
    no one


98. Who is the least likely to answer these questions?
    no one


99. Create your own question
    photography or writing?


100. is anyone in love with you?
     i think so, I hope so

This meme was posted by devilmiyu, the bigwig at the lost in shadows lj community — the group where participants of the online vampires game hang out.

1. Are you currently in a serious relationship?
   yes. sort of. The serious bit is true but if you judge relationship by the things you do within the relationship, then I don’t know what the answer is


2. What was your dream growing up?
   something boring like a teacher


3. What talent do you wish you had?
   ambidextrous, invisibility


4. If I bought you a drink what would it be?
   diet coke, or a beer if we’re feeling alcoholic


5. Favorite vegetable?
   as the main ingredient: asparagus, artichoke, courgette; as an ingredient in a dish: tomato; salad: rocket


6. What was the last book you read?
   book 5 of the Kristin Ashe mystery series by Jennifer L. Jordan [sidebar: I was one of the winners in a casual writing competition and as a prize Jennifer is sending me book 7, which is coming out this month]


7. What zodiac sign are you?
   aries


8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
   no


9. Worst Habit?
   impatience


10. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
    only if you looked like you needed a ride


11. What is your favorite sport?
    basketball


12. Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
    increasingly pessimistic


13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
    pool resources like food and water, offer support if you look like you’re panicking


14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
    I lost control of the brakes and the car slid backwards; if it weren’t for the door jammed against the car next to mine, the car and I would have fallen over a steep slope


15. Tell me one weird fact about you.
    100% introvert


16. Do you have any pets?
    no


17. What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
    see #15. I’d be friendly but wondering why you’re here and hoping you won’t stay long


18. What was your first impression of me?
    helpful, in control


19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
    I find them stupid actually


20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
    go back to my college weight


21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
    probably neither, I won’t get involved


22. What color eyes do you have?
    brown


23. Ever been arrested?
    no


24. Bottle or can soda?
    bottle


25. If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
    it’ll go into my investment portfolio


26. What’s your favorite place to hang out at?
    my room


27. Do you believe in ghosts?
    sometimes


28. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
    read, play on computer


29. Do you swear a lot?
    not really


30. Biggest pet peeve?
    people who are late


31. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
    smart


32. Do you believe/appreciate romance?
    I want to, but I’m quite disillusioned about the whole thing


33. Favorite and least favourite food?
    favorite: seafood, sashimi, ham; least favorite: anything in the onion / spring onion family


34. Do you believe in God?
    yes


35. What do you like about me? Least like about me?
    I don’t know you well enough, but I appreciate all the work you’ve done for the group and the game


36. Favorite music artist/band/group?
    hard to pick one; dcfc, starsailor, thirteen senses, ivy…and for oldies fleetwood mac


37. Favorite movie of all time?
    star wars


38. What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? Why?
    amazing race and survivor cos I’m a secret reality tv junkie; a bunch of travel and food programs cos they’re totally enjoyable to watch


39. Paper or plastic?
    I bring my own shopping bag

After more than a year, I posted a new personal page. No big difference from before, indicating that either a) my life hasn’t changed from a year ago or b) my life is so boring that it doesn’t change.

Or may be, I’m not asking the right questions. Instead of what is in my backpack I should be asking myself why I carry the stuff I carry with me all the time. Instead of the most recent city (Chicago…again) I should be asking myself where else I’d like to visit.

Then again, I don’t think my way of behaving or living my life has changed for all the years I’ve lived on my own, regardless of where in the world I am. The ultimate goal is always the same — retreat home as much as possible, don’t talk to people, don’t tell them what’s on my mind, don’t let anyone threaten my safety net, don’t let anyone know I’m just pretending to be a normal human being.

Together with staying at home and not spending money, I enjoyed a silent weekend. I called Mum Friday evening and we chatted for about 15 minutes; the next person I spoke to was mm when I called to wake her up at 6.30am this morning. In between, no people interaction, what bliss. Last time I tried for a no-speaking weekend, Mum called on Sunday to invite me out to dinner and ruined it. She didn’t laugh at me when I told her she’d ruined things, she knows me well enough to know that I mean it when I say I want a quiet weekend.

I have poor verbal skills anyway, which perhaps is surprising since I have decent written skills so you’d think I know how to string a sentence together. I don’t mind talking to people I know or on topics I’m interested in, but not for any length of time. People who can’t.stop.talking amaze and irritate me. Yes, I mean you, the one who nattered and yabbered continuously for the entire time I was on the bus.

May be I’m anti-social. So what. When there is no talking, no harm is done.

Lyrics from Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode. I found another video of them performing the song on the roof of the WTC but it creeped me out too much to post it.

I wanted to include this task in 101.1001 but I didn’t want to name it cos it’s deeply personal. It involved being disciplined and reaching certain milestones a certain number of times during one day (either a 24 hr period or from waking to sleeping). I’ve tried a few times before but have come up short. I’m glad I finally managed it.

The Times is sponsoring a study on ethics. It’s a simple online quiz, where people pick words that are most like, or unlike, themselves. There is no right or wrong answer, just indication as to which moral philosophy is most like us.

The three moral philosophies - principled conscience, social conscience and rules compliance - make up our integrity, or moral DNA, which guides the way we live. For everyone the balance between the moral philosophies is different, depending on personality and experience.

I joined another team for a 3/4 day team building offsite today. It was fun. Before the offsite, our facilitator asked us all to complete a DiSC profile because it helps to identify the type of person our co-workers are. DiSC stands for the 4 dimensions in this profile: dominant, influence, steadiness, conscientiousness.

I turn out to be high SC and low I. Generally it’s pretty true, that I’m predictable, systematic, self-reliant and can be inactive and realistic. There are altogether 15 different profiles depending on whether someone is high D or high C or high DI. My pattern is the closest to a Perfectionist. Which I don’t quite agree cos I’m not big on details and get bored easily.

There are some very funny descriptions for the dimensions.

Shopping for groceries:

• the D is the impulse shopper. No list.
• the i tells you where everything is in the store, whether you ask or not.
• the S is prepared, has a list, and gets it done efficiently.
• the C wouldn’t think of going shopping without coupons and a calculator.

Ask for something on their desk:

• the D has a messy desk. They say, “it’s there somewhere — you look for it.”
• the i says, “I’m busy right now. Give me a few minutes and I’ll get back to you.” They don’t know where it is, but won’t admit it.
• the S has everything filed in alphabetical order or by color code.
• the C says, “It’s the third thing down in that pile.” The desk may be messy, but they know where everything is.

According to the Wired Geekster Handbook there are 6 types of geeks.

1. The Fanboy Disposition: Speaks mostly in lines from The Simpsons, Star Wars, Highlander, and Ghostbusters. Enjoys arguing about whether Batman or Boba Fett would win in a fight. (Batman.) Beliefs: The Force exists, but midi-chlorians are bullshit. Han shot first. Turn-Ons: Princess Leia in slave gear. Starbuck (male and female incarnations). Amazing Fantasy No. 15. Velour uniforms.

2. The Music Geek Disposition: Would be really happy to introduce you to music better than that overexposed crap you like. Always up for a show, but it’ll totally suck. Beliefs: MP3s are not as good as CDs, which are not as good as vinyl LPs, which are not as cool as wax cylinders. What your speaker cables are made of matters. Turn-Ons: A complete set of Sub Pop Singles Club 45s. VH1’s Behind the Music (hair metal only). 0.0 scores on Pitchfork. Vacuum tubes.

3.The Gamer Disposition: High DEX and INT scores, low CHA (thus, the lack of friends). Given to indecipherable insults (“I pwn3d u, n00b!”). Beliefs: The game Real World has a great physics engine, hi-res graphics, and convincing surround sound, but the learning curve is too steep. Girls should dress like Yuna in Final Fantasy. Turn-Ons: Spawn points. Haptic feedback. Pac-Man ringtones. Morgan Webb. Split-screen co-op.

4. The Gadget Guy Disposition: Sociable while waiting in line on launch day; ferocious in comments on Gizmodo. Seemingly unflappable in the face of early adopter’s remorse (aka Apple Newton Syndrome). Beliefs: I can fix that. There’s no god but MacGyver. The price will drop in a month, but I need it now. Turn-Ons: Unboxing videos. Backup batteries. Blue LEDs. Laser pointers. People who RTFM. Things that make loud clicking sounds.

5. The Hacker Disposition: Chronically crabby — then again, having such a superior intellect is a heavy burden. Paranoid tendencies. Beliefs: One shall stand, one shall fall. Sun allergy is a real condition. Cybersex: not utterly disgusting. Cory Doctorow is too soft on DRM. 2600 magazine has gotten too commercial. Turn-Ons: Trinity. l33t fluency. Narc-spotting at DefCon.

6. The Otaku Disposition: Alarmingly happy. Prefers to read right to left. Beliefs: Manga is a medium, not a genre. Furries aren’t loathsome. I can learn Japanese from Gundam. Lynn Minmay is the most annoying character in the history of anything. The next major anime release will be a box office hit in the West — this time for sure. It’s not all tentacle porn, OK? Turn-Ons: Tentacle porn. Dirty Larping. Dating sims. All things kawaii.

***

What makes me mildly unhappy is I can’t identify to any of the six types. And now I’m worried about my geek creds. Sigh.

Woke up at 11am. Could have slept more, but conditioning meant I got up, made tea, had lunch and the usual “awake” stuff. But I was still sleepy.

Played on the wii for a bit but all I wanted was to sleep. So I had a nap at just after 4pm. When I opened my eyes it was almost 7pm. Boy, napping in bed is different from napping on the sofa.

I don’t think I’ll have problems sleeping tonight despite all the hours of sleep. I’m tired and it’s cold. I took out the extra duvet last night so I’m on three duvets. It makes me feel like I’m hibernating in a very warm cave.

Wouldn’t it great if humans can hibernate? Just curl up in a warm place and slow down whenever we want, no need to bother about work or stress or the outside world.

First explored by NASA as a potential means to send astronauts far into space, the research had been abandoned for over 20 years as it was too ambitious, and difficult. Recently, the race to hibernate humans is on again, according to the Times. This time, the purpose is medical.

to equip ambulances with a clear saline solution called plasma expander that would be injected into seriously injured victims at the scene of a car accident. The plasma would rapidly send body temperature from 37°C to 10°C, slowing the metabolism, delaying the onset of shock and limiting damage from wounds.

It’s the end of the year and I’m supposed to do some introspection and review. Like list out my achievements, thoughts, regrets, surprises and all.

Nah.

Look at the categories and tags here and you’ll see that Travel is the most popular topic. And I did a lot of it this year. I thought it might be interesting to figure out how much I have done, so I did a little summary of all the flights. The distances are actual miles between airports and calculated at webflyer.

Total is 99,700 miles or 160,450km. If it weren’t for stupid Delta and the cancelled JFK-ORD flight I would have gone past 100,000. In any event I’m claiming the extra 300 miles cos it’s within the margin of error. This is flights only and doesn’t include driving — add on an extra 6,000 miles or so for the couple of big roadtrips.

That’s a lot of miles, eh?

I’m a straighter-than-a-straight-arrow person who is usually logical, organised and punctual — not surprising for someone who has a science background and works in a technical field.

And yet I can write a little. It’s been a source of puzzlement for me. I mean, I can’t draw to save my life and the way I react to art is an either/or: it’s pretty, or it’s not.

This all has to do with left and right brain behaviour.

I found a couple of simple tests. The Hemispheric Dominance test tells me that I use my left brain more — though it was 10 left and 8 right, closer than expected. The Art Institute of Vancouver confirms that — I got 56% left and 44% right, which is almost the same split.

Now to turn everything on its head. Instead of consciously doing tests that arguably I can influence the result, here’s one I came across via kottke: a visual test for left- or right-brainedness. It can get dizzy looking at it for a long time, so I’ll put it under the cut.

Look at the dancer. Do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

I was chatting with Car (literally just 5 minutes ago) and she was telling me about the books I should be reading. I said I have little time for reading right now, cos of the 80-20 rule — I’m now at the time-consuming 20% part of the Great Website Redesign project.

She said, and I’ll quote:

80-20 rule? is that something you’ve made up in your anal little mind? lol

Oh my friend, it’s real alright. It’s called the Pareto Principle and was used originally to describe the distribution of wealth. In project management terms, it means that 80% of the work uses up 20% of time / resources.

As anyone who’s spent splodges of time putting the final touch on any project — baking, planning a holiday, building an office block — it’s the last litty bitty details that take up most time, energy and frustration. In terms of the website stuff, it means I’m spending time on the css details before moving onto the static pages.

I tried to explain all this, and the response was still:

car: I think that’s something you’ve made up
me: HA! it’s on wikipedia
car: oh whatever…it simply justifies your need to spend hours changing the color and margins of your website. LOL

Who’s a skeptic now? (Or she’s pulling my very anal legs.)

I can’t sing.

I went for karaoke last Friday as part of a colleague’s farewell party, and again on Sunday with mm. And both times re-affirms it, I can’t sing.

And it’s fine.

Now I have the perfect excuse.

Stole this from Jeanne’s LJ. I’m loyal, responsible and overly anxious. How did they know?

The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test

You chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX.
“I am affectionate and skeptical”

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be direct and clear.
• Listen to me carefully.
• Don’t judge me for my anxiety.
• Work things through with me.
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
• Laugh and make jokes with me.
• Gently push me toward new experiences.
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

• being committed and faithful to family and friends
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit
• being a nonconformist
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive

• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven’t lived up to my expectations

• are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• form a team of “us against them” with a best friend or parent
• look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

• are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

A little more research on the nine types:

1. One: Reformer, Critic, Perfectionist. This type focuses on integrity. Ones can be wise, discerning and inspiring in their quest for the truth. They also tend to dissociate themselves from their flaws and can become hypocritical and hyper-critical, seeking the illusion of virtue to hide their own vices. The One’s greatest fear is to be flawed and their ultimate goal is perfection.
2. Two: Helper, Giver, Caretaker. Twos, at their best, are compassionate, thoughtful and astonishingly generous; they can also be prone to passive-aggressive behavior, clinginess and manipulation. Twos want, above all, to be loved and needed and fear being unworthy of love.
3. Three: Achiever, Performer, Succeeder. Highly adaptable and changeable. Some walk the world with confidence and unstinting authenticity; others wear a series of public masks, acting the way they think will bring them approval and losing track of their true self. Threes fear being worthless and strive to be worthwhile.
4. Four: Romantic, Individualist, Artist. Driven by a fear that they have no identity or personal significance, Fours embrace individualism and are often profoundly creative. However, they have a habit of withdrawing to internalize, searching desperately inside themselves for something they never find and creating a spiral of depression. The angsty musician or tortured artist is often a stereotypical Four.
5. Five: Observer, Thinker, Investigator. Believing they are only worth what they contribute, Fives have learned to withdraw, to watch with keen eyes and speak only when they can shake the world with their observations. Sometimes they do just that. Sometimes, instead, they withdraw from the world, becoming reclusive hermits and fending off social contact with abrasive cynicism. Fives fear incompetency or uselessness and want to be capable above all else.
6. Six: Loyalist, Devil’s Advocate, Defender. Sixes long for stability above all else. They exhibit unwavering loyalty and responsibility, but are prone to extreme anxiety and passive-aggressive behavior. Their greatest fear is to lack support and guidance.
7. Seven: Enthusiast, Adventurer, Materialist. Eternal Peter Pans, Sevens flit from one activity to another. Above all they fear being unable to provide for themselves. At their best they embrace life for its varied joys and wonders and truly live in the moment; but at their worst they dash frantically from one new experience to another, being too scared of disappointment to enjoy what they have.
8. Eight: Leader, Protector, Challenger. Eights worry about self-protection and control. Natural leaders, capable and passionate but also manipulative, ruthless and willing to destroy anything and everything in their way. Eights seek control over their own life and their own destiny and fear being harmed or controlled by others.
9. Nine: Mediator, Peacemaker, Preservationist. Nines are ruled by their empathy. At their best they are perceptive, receptive, gentle, calming and at peace with the world. On the other hand they prefer to dissociate from conflicts and indifferently go along with others’ wishes or simply withdraw, acting via inaction. They fear the conflict caused by their ability to simultaneously understand opposing points of view and seek peace of mind above all else.

I saw this on jillycoppercorn’s LJ. Tell me what you think of me.

I think the site’s really busy because lots of people are doing it, so you may experience “site overload.”

Seven Types of Intelligence - Which is yours?

I’m pretty pleased at this result in a silly grin kind of way. Except, um, I don’t like debating.

Other personalities — spatial, musical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, logical. I’m mildly surprised I’m not one of the last two.

Jilly tagged me for this over at LJ. Ground Rules: The first player of this “game” starts with the topic “5 weird habits of yours” and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 quirky habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. The tv must be turned off at a certain channel.
2. No one is allowed to step on the area rug in the dining room. Of course they’re already shoeless, shoes are not allowed inside the apartment.
3. Clothes are classified as indoors and outdoors. Indoors clothes cannot be worn outside.
4. I pick out the vegetables and eat them first even in a mixed dish like a stew or fried rice.
5. All bottles, jars, cans etc must have their main labels facing out.

Who to tag? I don’t have 5 readers. Sad isn’t it. mm, terra — if you’re reading this, feel free.

From jillys LJ. Boy I wished LJ have trackback.

I remember names and numbers, but not faces. It seems that the majority of people are one or the other. I’m good at directions, map-reading, and remembering facts.

When I was younger most people only had one number — their home. Adults had work numbers, but obviously not most of my friends. I knew everyone’s number by heart. Then came faxes and cellphones and email addresses and various online handles. The personal data field in each friend/family member’s database grows larger.

Now with most cellphones and email programs, you don’t even need to remember these details. On my cellphone the display isn’t 12345678, the caller display will show “Mum” or “mm work”. I don’t even need to remember the number.

But I still do. I guess it really is the number person in me. I even remember the extension of many of the colleagues at my previous company, even though I left there 3.5 years ago. It’s bizarre.

I read about ways of remember long strings of numbers. My opinion is, if you have no head for them, you will never remember them, however hard you try.

I spent like 4 hours updating my list on 43 things. In all honesty I had the old list on twinkler and received the email in January that 43things proper had launched. It only took me what, 10 months to get back to it.

Naturally my old list is gone, so I have to create a new one. The user interface isn’t as user friendly as I want — I can’t see the most popular entries, it take too many clicks to navigate, I can’t do mass delete or update on my list items and the re-ordering should be more intuitive drag and drop.

I tried using the script they provided to import it to the sidebar, but they use an ul, and the items are indented. Just didn’t look good on the page.

Did more digging around and found some interesting tidbit about an alleged conspiracy involving robot co-op (the parent company) and amazon. Luckily the great Jason came to the rescue. Oh, all that happened way back in February. Geez, bb, catch up.

I’m a little unsure about the social network aspect. Like I find 23 other people who want to buy a new camera, do I contact them and swap notes? I mean, we probably live in different countries, have different criteria and besides I know exactly which camera I’m getting. The cheers and mutual encouragement aspect might work, but there are so many other social networks and communities out there already.

They’re doing something new, 43 places. I’m playing round with it, can’t decide if a country or city a place. Like should I put New Zealand as a place I want to visit, or drill down and use Queenstown, Franz Josef and Rotorua etc?

It’s already the end of September, but why oh why is it still so hot?! I was standing at the bus-stop this morning and I could feel myself dripping. Literally dripping all over my face and down my chin and onto the concrete. I’ve never been this bad before, this getting very hot all of a sudden.

So stuffy today, and I can even see the pollution. Difficult to breathe, I’ve been on anti-histamine for a week now and just upped the dosage from once a day to twice a day. I remember 18 months in Switzerland and I never had to touch the stuff. Sigh. I need to get out of here.

Looks like it’s gonna rain at the weekend. Why does it always rain at the weekend? In a way I’m glad, cos it’ll get rid of the mugginess and the pollution and the heat. Gee, please get rid of the heat.

I goofed off this afternoon, on an excuse. Ended up watching dvds and tackling my Mount Everest of ironing. Ran my 4th load of laundry this week, by this time tomorrow there’ll be another mountain of ironing, may be Matterhorn sized, cos it’s only one load-worth.

Funny thing, I forgot to have lunch. Then I was in the middle of a bowl of peanuts and have drunk half a cup of tea and the dvd program was still running … I had the strangest urge to vacuum. I didn’t wait till the peanuts, tea or program had finished. I just hit pause and did the vacuuming. Strange.

I think I need to replace the aircon in my room, it’s very loud at night. Last friday it got so loud we had to switch it off and switch the one in the living room on and left the bedroom door open. I was supposed to have replaced that aircon 2 years ago, I guess it’s lasted longer than expected.

The little finger of my left hand hurts. It’s all the typing on keyboards. I’m sure the key arrangements on the laptop is not good for hands.

Sometimes, I feel kinda strange.

Another personality test, to see if I’m a nerd, geek or dork. According to the test:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

And my score?

PURE DORK 43 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 60% Dork

You scored higher than 13% on nerdiness
You scored higher than 59% on geekosity
You scored higher than 95% on dork points

It’s not as though you were some whiz-kid in school. Oh, sure, you probably did okay in some classes, but were probably awful in others. Certainly most people thought you were smarter than you thought yourself to be. And it’s not that you have some overriding passion, like computers or Star Trek that sets you apart for the crowd, though you likely share some interest in some of those sorts of things. You just like to be yourself, and want to express yourself for who you are.

And, really, there’s nothing wrong with that. Being who you are often invites scorn, and so it’s a difficult thing in a world that rewards conformity. Be proud of your dorkiness, for often it’s just another word for individuality. (I’d vote for you!)

Congratulations!

so I did one of those personality tests, yikes. And I’m a Realist. The available types are: Big Thinker, Counsellor, Go-getter, Idealist, Innovator, Leader, Mastermind, Mentor, Nurturer, Peacemaker, Performer, Provider, Realist, Resolver, Strategist and Supervisor.

So yeah, Realist is pretty spot on.

For once I packed without using my list, just took a bunch of t-shirts, socks, underwear. Most of the contents of my suitcase this time are mugs for the SC girls.

Packed quickly too, it’s only a few days, no need to bring too much stuff.

Quiet day, it’s a public holiday, so we got to sleep in. We had a noodle lunch then relaxed around the house. Was a hot day, didn’t want to go out, had a nap.

I got hungry in the afternoon but didn’t feel like eating any of the stuff she has at home so when we went out for dinner and when we were walking I felt so energy-less both knees were weak and by the time we got to the restaurant my left arm felt like lead too.

When I’m hungry I get VERY cranky, but this time I was too weak to be cranky. The food came by quickly. She gave me half her rice and let me eat most of the food, she takes care of me so, awwww!

I keep thinking I should update my personal page, you know, the 25 squares about myself that I modelled on Leslie Harpold’s system status page, even though she’s changed her format, I kept mine.

Apart from the faq, about and other tmi (oh, someone asked me what tmi means, obviously they’re not CSI versed, tmi = too much information) pages, the personal section is the only sectiont not MT powered, they’re just a series of static pages. I’m thinking I should MT them too but can’t be bothered.

Anyway, like I said, I keep meaning to update the page, cos it’s been there since early Jan. But I can’t think of anything special to say. May be I’ll leave it till April then.

I hate that it suddenly gets humid and slightly warmer. I'm flying to Singapore (again) first thing Wednesday and I have a bunch of laundry and ironing to do and what happens? The Relative Humidity shoots up to 90%. The dehumidifier is on, while my poor clothes try their best to dry.

I can't pack properly, which gets me very angsty. Stupid weather.

I don't feel the cold that much, I hate the summer heat but I'm okay with winter. I have scarves but I hardly wear them, I have woolly hats but I usually only wear them skiing. I can usually get away with wearing T-shirts and shorts at home much later than a lot of other people. I do have this Beneton blue checked shirt I only wear at home, in winter, when T-shirts are a bit too ambitious.

But my fingers get really cold and I can't type or use the mouse. So my ritual every winter is, get the blue shirt out and hang it on the back of the chair in my study and get my black fingerless knitted gloves out and put them on my desk.

I'm ready for the cold.

Over at 43things, I can save my list.

Alternatively, saved list then enter the key: 4WsGp6x64S27g/vMGc+u74/pww8=

No clue what it's supposed to do, or what 43things is about. Why must everything make sense?

haven't played in a while. This week we'll choose one or the other of the following:

1. bar soap or shower gel
   shower gel
2. cd's or cassettes
   cd's, but the real answer is mp3
3. television movies or documentaries
   tv movies
4. wall calendar or desk calendar
   both, wall for the wall and desk for the, um, desk
5. dsl, cable, or dial-up
   dsl
6. summer or winter
   winter, can't stand sticky icky hot weather
7. city or country
   city
8. camping or stay in a hotel
   hotel, as many stars as I can afford
9. gold or silver
   no preference, may be silver?
10. fiction or non-fiction books
    fiction, well [small voice]fan fiction[/small voice]
11. mashed potatoes or baked potatoes
    baked, with sour cream, a little butter, but then I'm partial to mash too, a bit chunky with lots of pepper
12. ranch, italian, or catalina dressing
    none, don't like dressing
13. solid or spray deodorant
    used to be solid, now it's liquid roll on

All I could think of yesterday, stuck at the airport departure lounge waiting for the gate to open cos the flight's delayed so they could fix the plane's aircon, was how much I wanted to get home. A short flight but do much waiting . Plane, waiting for the luggage, waiting for the train, waiting for the taxi. Lines everywhere.

Most of all I wanted my bed. It's not the biggest, or has the best mattress, or the best linen, but it's my comfy bed that's all mine. A simple Ikea queen size pine bed with slats. A heavy hard mattress that I turn over whenever I remember.

Hotel beds are nice, clean sheets everyday, more pillows than I need, but it's not my bed.

Hotel beds are huge, even more huge than mine, but it's not my bed.

I miss curling up inside my 2 duvets, the same 2 duvets regardless of whether it's summer or winter.

I miss the feel of the sheets and the duvet cover on my skin. Oh yes my bed has one big rule, the wearing of clothing is optional and highly overrated.

I miss the clock at the side table.

I even miss the sunshine breaking through the curtains in the morning.

Sigh.

I fight a constant battle with having enough clean clothes. The washing machine is on all.the.time it seems.

May be cos I don't have enough clothes? But that's not true I have a large closet.
May be cos I only wear a small percentage of my entire clothing collection. Probably.
May be cos I wear something only once, when it's taken off when I get home it goes straight to the basket, that includes times when I'm home but I'm due to go out again. Definitely.

I don't like the smells my clothes accumulate outside, particularly in restaurants. The material just sucks up the food smell and doesn't go away. Pretty gross.

Some clothes are not "allowed" to go outside, they are reserved for home wearing only, cos I don't want to spoil them. Not because they're expensive or anything, just too comfortable.

Whenever I travel I bring a ziploc bag full or washing powder and the bathroom rapidly becomes the airing cupboard.

Anyway I was especially pleased when I got a hotel room that includes 3 pieces of clothing laundered a day. So this morning I put my black polo shirt and a t-shirt in the little bag, filled in the slip and left it by the closet for laundry. And wow! They came back individually wrapped in plastic, ironed and with a cardboard backing. That's the first time that little blue t-shirt has been ironed, like ever! It looks so good I don't want to unwrap it.

I have enough for this trip, but I'm sure gonna use up my daily quota. Yes siree.

... when I don't get home till late and by the time I finished dinner and showered there's precious little time on my own to read, surf.

... when people ask stupid questions that they should know the answer to.

... when I know I need to focus on planning our holiday but I don't have time.

... when there's another trip to Singapore between now and holiday time and I'm not even remotely prepared for that one.

... when I'm forever having to worry about laundry, watering plants and what to have for lunch.

... when I realise how much I've eaten in a day, and how little exercise I've done in, oh well, years.

... when it can't decide between staying hot or turning cooler.

My 3 week trip comes to an end, and most of me can't wait to get back. My own bed, my own stuff. Between the Marina Mandarin and Swissôtel they've been kinda a home away from home. I can hook up my laptop and the desk faces the TV so my nights and weekends haven't been that different. Just goes to show I don't have much of a life.

I pay lip service to missing mm. No, that's not fair, I do miss her a lot. But things haven't changed in 3 weeks, I'm still anxious about not being sad enough, not missing her enough. I should be gut wrenched, I shouldn't be able to function. But all my feelings are toned down, mild, muted. I don't know what's going on.

On talking to sherlock about feeling grief, she said that may be I've processed everything in my head and so emotions pass by very quickly. That's the best, and most comforting, explanation I've heard for a long while.

Me, I don't talk much. I'd much rather not open my mouth thank you very much. Other people talk enough what's the point of adding to the noise pollution we have to suffer in the world?

I do get amused by people who talk to themselves. Not the mumblings of Drunken Crazy Pete. Not the people talking to their cellphones. Isn't it strange that talking very loudly to a little black blob hanging off of a wire that is connected to your ear is no longer considered strange?

I mean the people who unconsciously verbalize everything that passes through their mind. Like the middle aged guy who proclaimed, "the bus is here" to nobody in particular. Or the old lady who asks "are you are boy or a girl?" no realizing how offensive or tactless her question is. Er, what do you want me to say? And why do you care?

I read about increasing traffic and generally getting noticed and I think, why? No one comes here much. I don't encourage it. I don't have friends with websites let alone weblogs. I don't have many friends anyway.

So what am I doing here? I mean, this is getting towards entry #100 and I've only had 2 comments. And that's when I was on tripod, a more public community. I joined a few rings recently but they probably don't do much, just seemed fun to try out.

I don't need people here.

This place, it's there so I can get disciplined and actually record some of what goes through my mind. It's meant to be boring. I don't whine about school cos I'm not at school. I don't write about work cos as soon as I leave the office work is forgotten. I don't have any hobbies. I'm not a pundit or expert on anything. I'm not embarking on any adventure. But sometimes I do describe the cheese sandwich I had. May be cos it was made from an interesting cheese. Or that I'd been having cheese sandwiches 3 days running. Yeah, it's a metaphorical cheese sandwich, geddit?

33% of weblogs are private. 10% are password protected. This statistic, from none other than the founders of Six Apart, seems surprising at first glance. But begins to make sense the more I think about it. People want to express themselves, but they don't really want to air their dirty laundry in public, at least not all of it.

The world doesn't want to know about your sore toe, it wants to show you its sore toe.

So hide. A small degree of anonymity is offered by the internet. People do chat rooms, icq, have internet sex, all under the guise of some personality or other. But increasingly, I come across people publishing under their real names, like they're saying, I have nothing to hide. My sore toe is just as important as yours.

Pretty soon I won't have a spoken voice. I'll speak through the weblog or website. I'll lose the ability to articulate speech, already I'm finding it harder, much harder, to speak on the phone or in person. I sit all day in front of one screen or another and that's my whole life.

But I still won't tell you who I am.

happy birthday me.

It's the last day of the year. We're supposed to reflect back on the past 365 days and come up with succinct deep thoughts about 2003 while at the same time looking forward to 2004. Man, it's just another day. Nothing ever changes. Nothing will change between today and tomorrow. Why is everything such a big sentimental deal?

There are the last minute packers, who grab whatever they can from their drawers and stuff them in their bags, regardless of whether those items are appropriate. There are the overpackers who pack everything and use only 10%. There are those who bring old and almost destroyed clothing and discard them as they buy new ones on their trip. There are those who can travel round the world on only one holdall.

We're going away for the long New Year weekend, to Shanghai. For a long time I resisted going to China, still have a great deal of resistance. I truly believe it's an innate snobbery that I'm ashamed to say I don't acknowledge, let alone overcome.

I made my packing list already. I pack enough clothing for each day, plus one extra. I bring my own shampoo and shower gel even though they're supplied by the hotel. I'm bringing both cameras and the iPod. If only someone could invent a universal charger for all these electrical devices that need to be charged up. I can't bring the Powerbook, I want to but she'll hit the roof if I did so I'll have to make do. Back to the old fashioned form of reading material then, I feel like Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises, or Death in the Afternoon. I have to read more classics.

It'll be cold, I'll take my gloves. But apart from the coldest days in New York and Zurich I haven't used a scarf or hat so should I use up precious space? May be a scarf, I'll take the coat with the hood. See? Packing needs thorough thinking.

There's a list for things to check before leaving too - windows, taps, fridge, cancel paper, take out trash. I'm organised that way.

Do you believe in wishes? That they come true if you wished hard enough?

I visited this wishing tree the other day. People would write their wishes on a piece of paper attached by string to an orange and throw the entire package up into a giant tree. If the package stayed up in the tree, entangled in the branches, then the wish would come true.

I couldn't think of any specific wish, the others were wishing they'd get a big year end bonus and stuff like that. Not that I don't want a big bonus, it just didn't seem to be the right thing to wish for at that moment. In the past I'd always wish for Clara to get better but now she's gone ... I merely wished for good health for family and friends.

That's so lame. Like during beauty pageants where these nubile young things always wished for world peace. So clichéd. I'm so full of it.

I read about a newest sensation gripping the media world - Pope Deathwatch. Sigh. People are so cruel. Just when the world should be celebrating 25 years of the papacy, attention is diverted to how frail he is and when is he going to die and politics surrounding who will succeed him. All valid questions and succession should be worked out to avoid being caught unprepared. But do they have to be so blatant and go about it with so little dignity?

As a Catholic we are brought up to revere the church and obey the Pope. Even though personally there are major areas of disparity, like I totally disagree with the church's stance on contraception, abortion and homosexuality, I still look to the Pope as someone to respect. Much more so than say the Archbishop of Canterbury or the Dalai Lama. Because the Pope is my leader.

Am I a bad Catholic because I think modern society needs contraception and abortion and because I don't think being gay is a sin? Or because I hardly ever go to mass? Probably.

But my belief is on such a personal level I don't think it's possible for me to articulate, much less share with others. I do like going to mass but I don't believe God is keeping tabs, like He doesn't look at someone who goes once a week and gives them one gold star and someone who goes everyday gets 3 gold stars and someone who goes once a year gets negative stars. There shouldn't be a quota for being "good", should there?